Whisper Forever Read online

  “Damn it,” I said, shaking my head as I looked down at the bar and fisted my hands. Bethany, another friend from school, laughed. Shannon joined in, and I shot them my ugliest glare.

  “You are handling this so well,” Shannon teased, and I fought the urge to knock her mixed drink into her lap. I would never admit she was right, but judging by the looks on their faces, I didn’t have to. They just knew.

  Shannon had also been enamored by Lucas once, just like most girls in town when we were growing up. She thought he was amazing, charming, and dreamy, and hung on his every word.

  She’d outgrown that long ago when Jeb swept her off her feet. I was jealous of what they had, and wondered if I’d ever be lucky enough to find a guy who basically shared my every thought. Seeing them together, though, brought me happiness as well, because he was good for her and good to her, and he made her shine.

  Lucas being here was throwing me off my game. These days I was focused, balanced, and set in my ways. I knew what I wanted, knew where I wanted to be and what it’d take to get there. Only now those thoughts and goals were all jumbled up in my mind.

  I didn’t like it.

  I didn’t like it one bit.

  ***

  “So you taking me home with you tonight?” Deacon whispered as he wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me back against his chest. He pushed his hips against my backside as he swayed from side to side. The gesture was obvious, and I fought the urge to slam back against him to make him cry out in pain.

  Somewhere from across the bar, I heard a chair flip over and the sound echoed throughout the pub. It was close to closing time, so the music had ended and most of the patrons had already gone home, but our small group was still lingering.

  I was just about to tell Deacon I’d be going home alone when his hand slid higher and cupped my left breast.

  “Where’s your fucking respect, man?” A loud booming voice filled the quiet space, and I looked to my right to see Lucas walking up to us with a determined look on his face. “Does she mean that little to you that you think you can palm her like a piece of property?’”

  I was momentarily stunned. Had I not been, I would have seen what Deacon did next coming. He pushed off me, making me stumble forward as he turned to face Lucas. Their height and build were similar, making the scene appear even more intense. The way they stood chest to chest, nose to nose was almost scary.

  “I don’t see how Madelyn and me have anything to do with you,” Deacon said. “If memory serves me correctly, you pretty much tossed her aside for bigger and better things.”

  His words stung.

  “You’re right,” Luke said and my stomach felt as if it hit the floor. “The relationship between you and Maddy isn’t my business.” He paused and didn’t take his eyes off Deacon.

  I wanted to step between them and tell Lucas to leave. I didn’t want him here. His being here was messing up everything. When he spoke again, that hollow feeling inside returned with a vengeance.

  “But it’s my business when you, or any man for that matter, doesn’t treat her with respect. And you grabbing at her as if she doesn’t deserve better than that pisses me off. Maddy should be with a man who values her, and you obviously don’t.”

  Lucas’s eyes were full of anger. I’d spent enough years with him to know what he looked like when he was barely holding on to his control.

  “And one more thing,” Lucas added as he stepped closer to Deacon and stared him down as if he was nothing. Only Deacon didn’t falter. He stood tall, staring right back at Lucas with equal irritation.

  Everyone just stood around watching as if this was some reality TV show.

  “Never, and I mean never, did I feel as if Madelyn wasn’t enough for me. If anything, she was too damn good for me. Or anyone. Maddy is a special kinda girl, and she should be with a man that values that.”

  I swear the floor shook beneath me. I held on to the side of the bar as Lucas shoulder-checking Deacon on his way to the pub door.

  Everyone watched him walk out, and no one attempted to stop him. No one said anything until the front door slammed shut.

  “Well, hot damn,” Shannon said in a high-pitched voice that made me jump in surprise, followed by a little whistle. “That was one of the sexiest things I’ve ever witnessed. I do believe that boy just admitted he feels something for you that you never thought he could.”

  Deacon glared at her as Jeb grinned and I hung my head, taking in a big deep breath.

  This night had ended a whole lot different than I envisioned it ending.

  Chapter 7

  LUCAS

  I stretched out my leg on the ottoman. The pull against my muscles ached, but it felt good in a sense. My head was what hurt the most. Not because I drank too much last night—I’d only had two beers—but because I barely slept after I got home.

  After I left the pub, I’d spent practically the entire night lying in bed, wondering what the hell I could have done differently. What I could have said, or damn it, how I could have been so blind.

  Growing up with Maddy at my side made her almost feel like my sister. That had made her off-limits, and I never took the time to reevaluate those feelings. Hell, I never took the time to see her as anything differently than the girl who was just like one of the guys.

  But last night was different. I still saw traces of the Maddy I knew, but the fire inside her and her self-confidence were new. The version of her was enticing, and thoughts of it hammered away inside me, causing my mind to race and scream at me for being such an ass, like I hadn’t already figured that out.

  “How’s the leg feeling today?” my father asked as he sat in the recliner across from me. I was so lost in my own thoughts, I hadn’t even heard him enter the room.

  “Good,” I said with a forced smile.

  He arched his brow and gave me that knowing look I’d seen often. He could read me like a book without even trying, and he knew I was lying.

  “Okay, fine,” I admitted, “it’s stiff but tolerable.”

  “And your head?” he asked, and I gave him a quizzical look. “Boy, you couldn’t hide things from me when you were a teenager, and you can’t hide them from me now. I know you got something going on in that head of yours.”

  I looked at my leg again, as if ignoring him would end this conversation. “We could play this all out, pretending your head’s on straight while you mull over it alone day after day,” he continued when I remained silent, just staring ahead. “Or you can tell me what’s going on and you and I can find a solution together. Now you know my preference, but the ball’s in your court.”

  He said he’d let it go, but I knew better. No one in my family lets things go. Hell, most likely he’d run off, tell my mother, and she’d nag it out of me.

  So I figured, what the hell?

  “Can I ask you something?” I finally looked up to meet my father’s gaze, and he leaned forward in his chair, nodding. “Were you and Mom friends before you got together?”

  A small grin pulled at his lips, and I worried asking him would only open the floodgates for a million questions to pour in—questions I wasn’t sure I was ready for yet.

  “I’d say we were friends, but not close ones,” he finally replied, still smiling, “in the sense that we hung out with the same people. We didn’t get closer until after a few years.”

  “So do you think that two people who went from being best friends to barely talking could ever be anything more to each other than two people who share some happy childhood memories?” I shifted on the couch, suddenly unable to hold back the things rolling around in my head. “What about if one of those people feels as if the other person forgot them, even though they never truly did? Do you think that person could forgive the other for being a complete idiot by not seeing what was right in front of them?”

  “Anything is possible,” he said. “I think that when two people connect, no matter what age they are, that connection doesn’t just go away with time
. If either or both of them gets hurt, they can hide behind that hurt, but they can never truly forget what their heart feels.”

  Instead of responding I just nodded and allowed his words to roll through my mind repeatedly.

  “How is Madelyn?” he asked and I smiled, lifting my gaze to meet his again.

  “Truthfully?” I asked and he nodded. “She’s pissed and doesn’t really want to talk to me. But I get it.” I took in a slow, deep breath and smiled as I let my mind wander back to the moment she walked around the back of her truck. “She’s also beautiful, confident, and has a fire inside her that she didn’t before.”

  For a moment, we just sat there in silence before he pushed up from the chair and slowly walked toward the couch, where he paused just a few feet away from me.

  “The keys to the Scrambler are hanging in the mudroom,” he stated, and I and gave him a confused look. “Gene Emery let me borrow his coil compressor when I was working on that old Chevy last week. Why don’t you take it back to him for me.”

  He walked away before I said a word, and I knew that wasn’t a question. It was my father’s way of giving me the chance to face Maddy. Giving me the opportunity to face the trouble I’d caused head-on and do all I could to dig my way out.

  I smiled as I got up off the couch and moved toward the kitchen, and it turned into a grin as I grabbed the keys from the wall and walked out the front door.

  ***

  I may have taken the long way around. Through the fields, over a couple muddy hills, down through the low, grassy terrain, and around the lake that held so many memories of Maddy and me. I remember swinging from the tire still hanging from the big tree just beside the water. I stopped for a moment and allowed myself to remember those days in great detail.

  I’d laughed with Maddy over the years more than I had with anyone else. It was just who we were back then: two kids who saw the humor in everything. Even when things weren’t funny, we found a way to laugh at them.

  I drove up the long gravel drive that led to the Emery home, and my stomach tightened with nervous energy when the familiar silver Chevy came into view. Thoughts of turning around ran through my mind, but I pushed forward.

  I had no idea what I’d say, or do for that matter, but I knew I had to face her.

  I slowed to a stop just to the left of the barn and I carefully got out of the four-wheeler before grabbing the tool I had strapped to the back. Just as I was about to turn around, Gene, Maddy’s father, hollered out my name.

  “Damn, boy, look at you.” I turned to see him exiting the shed only a few feet away and moving toward me. “I think four years away made you double your size.”

  He smiled wide as he leaned in and offered me his hand. I placed mine in his and gave it a firm shake in return. “I don’t know about double, but yeah, I put on some weight.”

  “And muscle,” he added with a chuckle. “Madelyn said she hung out with you and a group of friends last night.” He stepped back, crossing his arms over his chest, and I tried to hold back the smile tugging at my lips. Maddy had brought me up, even if it was just in passing. I blamed my ego for finding that fact quite enjoyable.

  “I didn’t say I hung out with him, Daddy.” I turned at the sound of Maddy’s voice just as she walked out of the barn carrying a shovel. Her hair was a mess, tied up in a wild pile on top of her head, and dirt was smeared on her cheek. Her shorts looked as if they were once a pair of jeans. I like them as shorts much better than I would have as jeans, though. Her legs were long, slender, and perfect, and of course she was wearing cowboy boots. I think she owned a different pair for each day of the week.

  “What I did say was that Lucas was back in town and someone should have warned me. Had they done so, I wouldn’t have gone out last night and taken the chance of running into him.”

  Gene chuckled and I found myself smiling too.

  “Yeah, I guess she’s right,” Gene added. “That does sound a little more like it.”

  “And here he is again,” Maddy said as she leaned the shovel against the tailgate of her truck and reached into the back of it to grab a bag of feed. I hadn’t intended to stare, but my eyes felt like gravity was pulling them toward her ass as she bent forward. Her father’s chuckle brought me out of the haze I was in and I averted my gaze toward the ground that separated us.

  “I, uh.” I coughed to clear away the nervous vibration in my throat. “I brought back that coil compressor you let my dad borrow.” The words rushed out of me in a garbled mess. “I was getting antsy just sitting at home, and I think it was his way of getting me up and out,” I added, only feeling more ridiculous that I hadn’t just stopped after the first sentence.

  I stepped forward without a second thought and reached over Madelyn’s shoulder, took hold of the heavy sack she was pulling toward her, and hefted it over my shoulder.

  “I got this just fine, Lucas,” she insisted as she turned and reached out, as if she was going take it from me.

  Now, Maddy was barely over five feet tall and barely came to my shoulders. I didn’t wanna laugh at the idea of this tiny little thing attempting to retrieve the feed bag, but I did grin. Which only earned me a nasty glare.

  “Well aren’t you just a modern-day hero, saving little ole me from breaking a nail or something worse.” She spun around, grabbed her shovel, and stormed off toward the barn with a helluva lot of attitude.

  “She’s a bit of a pistol,” Gene shared before he turned back toward his shed. “Watch out for her right hook, Luke. She’s perfected it over the years,” he hollered back over his shoulder, and I wasn’t sure if he was just attempting to be funny or if he was actually serious.

  Chapter 8

  MADELYN

  Last night I left the pub feeling bad for not running after Lucas. I thought for a moment that maybe I’d been too hard on him. Of course, as soon as Lucas left, Deacon ran his mouth off about him, so what did I do? I took the frustration I’d felt all night out on him and left in one hell of a foul mood. Not that the guy didn’t deserve it after some of the comments he made.

  I’d spent the night lying awake, running through every possible emotion, and my lack of sleep was responsible for my current bitchy mood. Lucas being here weighed heavy on me because I was so torn emotionally. He just kept showing up, blindsiding me.

  He hadn’t given me so much as a damn phone call over the last four years, so clearly he had no problem keeping his distance then. Why was it so hard now?

  “Where should I put this?” he asked from behind me, and my heart raced, knowing he was so close and that we were alone.

  “Wherever,” I said without glancing at him.

  I jumped as the bag hit the ground, but I tried my best to hide my reaction. I just wanted him to get back on his four-wheeler and haul ass down Cooper Lane. I wanted him to go back to pretending I didn’t exist because though I’d missed him like crazy for more days than I could count, I’d gotten use to that ache. I’d learned to cope with it, and I guess I buried it deep enough that I was finally able to tolerate it. Him being so close made all those days of missing him harder to ignore.

  Part of me wanted to tell him it was great to see him and I was glad he was back. Another piece wanted to scream at him and ask why he’d so easily forgotten about me.

  “You do know it’s gonna be hard to ignore me now that I’m back.”

  I whirled around, knocking over a shovel and bucket in the process. “Me ignoring you,” I said, stepping forward as anger rushed through me. “I’m pretty sure you’re the one who’s done the ignoring over the years.” I pointed at him. “You started ignoring me once you hit high school and got more interested in all the girls willing to spread their legs to gain your attention.”

  He flinched, but I didn’t let it stop me. “You decided I was no longer worthy of your friendship or even a simple hi in the hallways. So don’t you dare show up here acting as if the fact you and I haven’t shared a single word in the last four years is my fault. That’s on y
ou, not me.”

  “I know.” He didn’t even attempt to make excuses. He just said those two words as he stared back at me.

  “So what do you want now?” I tried to swallow around the dryness in my throat.

  “A chance to make up for all the years I let pass without realizing that what I had with you was worth more than everything I let get in the way.” He cracked a smile as he looked at me with hope in his eyes. Hope that made my heart race and my chest tighten.

  “I don’t know if I can offer you that,” I said truthfully. I was hesitant for many reasons, but the fact my heart was still vulnerable in his presence was the biggest one. I didn’t like how it betrayed me when he was near. I didn’t like how my mind fought against the urge to hug him close. I certainly didn’t like how for a moment I thought of forgiving everything he’d done to me through the years just to ensure he wouldn’t leave again.

  I couldn’t be that girl.

  I’d spent too much time building up my guard, learning to protect my heart from being crushed again. I wasn’t about to let the guy responsible for crushing it the first time repeat the process.

  Lucas stepped closer and I remained in place as I tilted my head so I could look up at him. Those big green eyes of his stared down at me with an unreadable emotion. Those same eyes had gotten me to agree to do almost anything so many times. But today, they just made my knees feel weak.

  “I’m sorry I was such an asshole to you, because you never deserved that. You were and still are the best friend I ever had.” I swallowed past the lump in my throat as he continued to speak. “I was young and stupid. I hurt you, and that is something I will always regret.”

  I was afraid to speak because I knew if I attempted to, I wouldn’t come off as the strong, confident girl I wanted to portray myself as.

  “I understand your feelings, but I need you to know I plan on getting what we once had back. Regardless of what you think or how I’ve acted over the years, I’ve missed my Maddy.”