RUSH (Montgomery Men Book 1) Read online

  RUSH

  Copyright @ 2016 C.A. Harms

  All Rights Reserved

  This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, events, and other elements portrayed herein are either the product of the author’s imagination or used fictitiously. Any resemblance to real persons or events is coincidental.

  No part of this book may be reproduced, storied in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form, or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise, without prior permission of the author.

  Interior design and formatting by:

  Christine Borgford, Perfectly Publishable

  Table of Contents

  Rush

  Prologue

  Chapter 1

  Chapter 2

  Chapter 3

  Chapter 4

  Chapter 5

  Chapter 6

  Chapter 7

  Chapter 8

  Chapter 9

  Chapter 10

  Chapter 11

  Chapter 12

  Chapter 13

  Chapter 14

  Chapter 15

  Chapter 16

  Chapter 17

  Chapter 18

  Chapter 19

  Chapter 20

  Chapter 21

  Chapter 22

  Chapter 23

  Chapter 24

  Chapter 25

  Chapter 26

  Chapter 27

  Chapter 28

  Chapter 29

  Chapter 30

  Chapter 31

  Chapter 32

  Chapter 33

  Chapter 34

  Chapter 35

  Chapter 36

  Chapter 37

  Chapter 38

  Chapter 39

  Chapter 40

  Chapter 41

  Chapter 42

  Chapter 43

  Epilogue

  Coming soon . . .

  About the Author

  I STOOD AT THE VANITY in my hotel room looking at myself in the mirror, and I felt nothing. It was as if I was in a daze, just floating through the moments, without thought, completely empty. Desolate.

  I had no idea how long I’d been staring at the reflection before me, but I knew it had been long enough to cause my vision to blur. The woman I once was, the one I had been for my entire life prior to my marriage, no longer resembled the person staring back at me. On the inside as well as the outside.

  That woman had been replaced.

  My once-long, blond hair was now shorter and dyed a shade of brown that closely resembled chocolate. My ocean-blue eyes, which I once thought were one of my best features, now hid behind brown contact lenses. I wore more makeup than I had ever been allowed to do so before, in an attempt to hide the light freckles that trailed along my cheekbones and over the bridge of my nose. They too were a trademark of the woman I was leaving behind.

  I could no longer be the timid and withdrawn Kinsley Hellman. The woman who placed her own needs aside for those of others and chose to ignore the hate she was surrounded by.

  Because she was gone. She had to be.

  I would now be Kiera Masterson, and I had the paperwork to prove it. I’d been recreated and given a new identity by people I was sure were operating illegally, but I couldn’t worry about that. They had helped me escape, and for that I couldn’t be more thankful.

  I still don’t know exactly how I was able to get away, but I did. I definitely had an angel on my shoulder the night I fled the darkness Jase had inflicted on me for more than five years. I’ve lived in fear ever since. I was scared to sleep and scared to leave the safety of the hotel room I had confined myself to. Every noise terrified me. Even the silence left me paralyzed with possibilities, because that was where the monsters lived.

  And Jase Hellman was the scariest monster I’d ever met.

  Six months earlier

  KINSLEY

  THE EXCESSIVE CLATTER OF WINEGLASSES, laughter from men that thought they were the rulers of the world, and cackles of women who were dumb enough to believe them.

  All these things surrounded me.

  Yet all I could focus on was Jase’s fingers as they dug into the flesh at my side, which my dress exposed, and the pressure made me sick to my stomach. I stiffened from the pain, yet did my best to hide my discomfort. Showing it would only drive him to squeeze even harder. At one point I had to bite down on my cheek to keep from whimpering, and now all I tasted was blood as I held my breath, hoping he would just let go, or even just loosen his hold a little.

  “Appearance is everything, Kinsley,” he whispered near my ear before placing a kiss against my neck.

  It was something a man would normally do for the woman he loved, but not for Jase. Instead, it was his way of showing his power over me. He made everyone around us believe he was a loving, devoted husband, but that couldn’t have been further from the truth.

  “Smile and play nice, or later I won’t be so gentle.” His menacing whisper caused that familiar burn to rise in my throat. “I suggest you remember the lesson I taught you on that last evening you were difficult and decide if you would like a repeat performance.”

  He chuckled, as if remembering the pain he inflicted on me only weeks ago. He was sadistic.

  Grinding my teeth, I forced a smile, doing my best to appear unaffected by his words and the unwanted memories they brought. He led me through the crowd of people, nodding to them and showing me off as if I was a prize he’d won. It was all an act, his way of staying high up on that pedestal each person in this room had put him on. They treated him as if he were a god.

  It was disgusting. If only they knew the truth.

  He forced me to mingle with his group of followers and pretend I gave a damn about what they thought of me or the conversations they held. Most only talked to me in hopes of getting closer to him.

  “That’s it, that’s my girl,” he whispered, and the sound made my stomach lurch. I hated his soothing tone almost as much as the menacing one.

  Jase was a heartless bastard. A controlling, spiteful prick who got off on overpowering the weak, and he saw me as an easy target. He hadn’t always been the man I knew now though. He was once sweet, and on most days back then he made me feel as if I was the center of his world.

  That all faded fast soon after we married.

  He was the perfect example of someone who let power and money change who they were. He no longer cared about those he hurt along the way. He only cared about gaining more power, earning more money. It was an addiction to him.

  An addiction he allowed to take over his life.

  I was trapped in his world, and he reminded me of that often. But if I left him, I would not only lose everything, but my father would too.

  His grip loosened, and the urge to run jolted throughout my mind. But I knew I wouldn’t. He held the fate of my father’s health in his hands, along with everything else my family had spent their entire lives building. Without Jase, my father couldn’t get the treatment for his heart disease that he desperately needed, and I couldn’t let that happen. I had to survive for my father—the man I loved the most and for who I would do anything.

  “Well, Kinsley, you look gorgeous as always,” Bruce Hellman cooed. He leaned in to kiss my cheek, and his touch was almost as bad as his son’s. I hated the way he would watch me, with his tongue resting against his bottom lip as he scanned me from head to toe. It was revolting, and, worse, Jase didn’t seem to mind.

  Jase and his father were powerful men, not only rich but well connected. Anyone in Miami would give them exactly what they needed without hesitation, whether or not what they wanted was legal. Hiding their wrongs was easy when even the law was on their side, and crossing them w
ould be suicide.

  “Thank you,” I replied as I stepped away and shifted nervously on my feet.

  “Control yourself, darling.” Jase gripped my elbow and twisted it enough to hurt. “I won’t tell you again. I suggest you stop fidgeting. Eyes are on us, always. Don’t force my hand, Kinsley.”

  I looked up and saw Bruce looking at his son proudly. As if the image of his son taking control of his daughter-in-law excited him. I wasn’t surprised that Bruce was single. After Jase’s mother died, he never remarried. He did, however, have plenty of women who were more than happy to give him what he needed in exchange for the finer things in life.

  “We go over this every time we’re in public. By now you should know what I expect of you without needing to be reminded,” Jase whispered, but even in his soft voice, I heard the hate.

  My hands began to shake as I remembered all the times before when he had hurt me, but one night in particular always hung heavy in my mind—the night my husband showed me the man he truly was. The night I went numb and decided obeying him was the only way I would survive the hell I had married in to while protecting and providing for my father, the only man who had ever truly loved me.

  I COULD FEEL THE TENSION the moment we entered the limo after the party. I had done everything he ask me to. I’d smiled when necessary, had small talk with everyone who approached me, yet it wasn’t enough. I don’t know what made me think it would be. Nothing I did was never enough. I was his puppet, yet I always managed to do or say something that displeased him.

  As the driver started the engine, I looked over at Jase and the look on his face gave me chills. He was obviously waiting until we were alone so he could recap my wrongdoings of the evening and punish me for embarrassing him, even though I had no idea how I’d done so.

  I tried to hide my shaking hands by fisting them at my sides, feeling the silky material of my overpriced gown rub along my wrists. My heart raced, causing me to feel slightly lightheaded.

  The ride continued in silence, and the closer we got to our home, the more my body shook. I tried to keep my breathing calm, but it was pointless. I felt like I was going to be sick.

  “Tonight was lovely,” I said, hoping to lighten his mood.

  When Jase continued to look forward, ignoring my words, I knew it would be only a matter of time until he unleashed his anger on me. There was nothing I could do. He was past the point of reason, and I would pay the price once we were home. I prayed for a distraction. Anything that would take his mind off the things he felt I did wrong. At this point, I’d welcome a small accident that left us stranded at the side of the road.

  Who prayed for things like that? Who would be so desperate for a way out that they would wish pain on others? But I was drowning fast and there was no way to save myself.

  As the limo slowed to a stop just under the awning of our extravagant home, I tried to make peace one last time. “I’m sorry if I did anything wrong. I didn’t mean to embarrass you.” My voice vibrated with fear even though I did all I could to hide it.

  When the door to the limo came open, my entire body jerked in response. I was rooted to my seat, afraid to move as I tried to hold back the tears burning my eyes. Crying only made things worse because Jase truly enjoyed my fear. He enjoyed provoking then enhancing it until I cowered and begged for mercy.

  When Jase stepped from the limo and stood outside the open car door looking back at me with his darkened eyes, I knew stalling would only make things worse. So after taking in a shuddering breath, I slowly slid toward him. He took my hand and helped me from the car, then led me toward the door. He didn’t even glance back at the driver, desperate to get me inside and show how displeased he was with me.

  “I’ll see you in the morning, Paul. Have a nice night,” he told the chauffer dismissively as he continued to drag me inside.

  Once the door was shut, he pointed toward the stairs without speaking a word. Feeling trapped and bound, I walked up the long, winding staircase that led to our massive master bedroom, which was the size of most single family homes. It should have been a safe haven, but it now held so many memories of terror that its mere existence made me shiver.

  When I met Jase, he was the most amazing man. He was gentle and adoring and made me feel treasured and protected. But that shifted soon after we were married and he gained control of my father’s medical and financial choices. That was what he and his father did. They swooped in, played the hero, and treated you well until they had you in their hold without any way of escaping.

  Not only had he done a great job of fooling me, he fooled my father too. But even after I found out what type of man I had married, I kept that knowledge from my father. His health was far too bad to pile that type of worry on to him. In my father’s eyes, Jase protected me and I had the life he’d dreamed of me having. My father would die with that image. I wouldn’t break his heart.

  I stood in the center of our bedroom on shaky legs with my back to the door, waiting for the punishment I knew was coming—a punishment for my unknown crime. Sometimes I believed Jase made up my transgressions just so he could discipline me for them. He was a sick man with a darkness inside of him that terrified me. I would never understand how anyone could instill such fear into another and feel pride in doing so.

  The click of the door shutting, followed by the flip of the lock made my stomach drop.

  “Turn around, Kinsley,” Jase said with a raspy edge to his voice.

  It took everything inside me to face him. I had grown immune to most of the things he put me through daily, but the buildup terrified me. The ugly names he would call me while laughing because they amused him, no longer bothered me. The way he made me feel less than presentable even though I’d spent hours preparing myself before we went out, no longer made me feel inadequate.

  He would compare my breast size and the curve of my ass to other women’s, tearing me down slowly, stripping away my confidence piece by piece. He would even go as far as to say that he should force me to watch another woman please him, because I could learn a few things in that category. He never once considered that our poor sex life could be related to the abuse he put me through. Having him touch me was the worst form of torture. The feel of his hands on me made my skin crawl.

  “Did you enjoy dancing with him?” Jase asked as he stepped closer and traced the shoulder strap of my dress with his finger. Before I could answer, he hooked his finger beneath it and pulled it to the side, causing my dress to sag. “The feel of his hands on your skin, his body pressed firmly against yours. Did you like that? Flaunting yourself to him, daring me to stop it?”

  “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” I had danced with a few men that night, but only because Jase had insisted. He did this often, forcing me to do things and then punishing me for doing them. Every day of my life was a no-win situation, and there was truly no escape.

  “You know exactly what I’m talking about,” he insisted, and from the look on his face, I knew better than to argue. “Isaac Jacobs, he’s always had an eye for the finer things in life. He’d love moving in on something of mine. Getting a piece of you.” He trailed the tip of his finger along my collarbone and the base of my neck until he reached the opposite shoulder. “Is that what you want, Kinsley? To know what it’s like to have him touch you? To taste you and move inside of you?”

  Bile began to rise in my throat. All I could do was shake my head. This was getting bad fast. His villainous, condescending tone was one I knew well. It dared me to argue with him, to give him one more reason to strike. It sent chills through me and made my heart race in fear.

  “I think you want Isaac.” He hooked the other strap and pulled it down, and the dress fell from my shoulders, exposing my bare breasts.

  “No I don’t, Jase, I promise. I only danced with him because you asked me to,” I said, my voice shaking. I knew I was giving him what he wanted by not remaining silent, but panic mode had kicked in. I hoped by some miracle that something I said
would somehow reach the man inside of him that he once was.

  “So you’re saying this is my fault?” he asked.

  My words had the opposite effect, just as I knew they would. They had not calmed him in the slightest. In fact, he only looked angrier now.

  “No,” I said in a rush.

  “I think that’s what you meant. It appears it’s time to remind my wife of how seriously I take my possessions and how I hate to share.”

  My chest felt tight and my stomach coiled. Tears filled my eyes even though I had fought against them with every bit of strength I still had. But it wasn’t enough, and he knew he had broken me.

  “That’s right, darling. After tonight there will be no question in your mind that you belong to me.” He began to lower the zipper beneath my left arm, and my dress slowly slid down my body and pooled at my feet. “You will always be mine, Kinsley. I hope you understand the lengths I will go to in order to assure that. Nothing will stop me from having you. No one will get in my way.”

  He gripped my shoulder and turned me to face the bed as his fingers dug into my flesh. Before I had a chance to regain my balance, he placed his hand in the center of my back and shoved me forward. The front of my body landed hard against the mattress.

  Jase chuckle as if this was a game. And I guess in a way it was to him. He gripped my legs and herded them apart before crawling up the bed. The moment he yanked my panties to the side and covered my body with his, I faded out and went to a place where life wasn’t so scary, just like I did every time this happened.

  I would imagine I was happy and free, loved and adored, and far away from the man who destroyed me daily. In a place where I no longer feared being the woman I once one, and where both my father and I were safe. Even as my husband aggressively forced himself on me, I would try with everything inside me to imagine that better life. It was all I had to get me through these times.

  Most would call me pathetic and weak for staying. But the people who said things like this didn’t know the battles I faced. Jase had done an amazing job of breaking me, and I knew I’d given up.