Guarded Heart Read online

  *~Guarded Heart~*

  By C.A.Harms

  Text Copyright ©2013

  C.A.Harms

  All Rights Reserved

  Table of Contents

  Prologue

  One

  Two

  Three

  Four

  Five

  Six

  Seven

  Eight

  Nine

  Ten

  Eleven

  Twelve

  Thirteen

  Thirteen

  Fourteen

  Fifteen

  Sixteen

  Seventeen

  Eighteen

  Nineteen

  Twenty

  Twenty One

  Twenty Two

  Twenty Three

  Twenty Four

  Twenty Five

  Twenty six

  Twenty Seven

  Twenty Eight

  Twenty Nine

  Thirty

  Thirty One

  Thirty Two

  Thirty Three

  Thirty Four

  Thirty Five

  Thirty Six

  Thirty Seven

  The Wedding

  Prologue

  I placed my hand on his toned stomach tracing little circles until I found his hip and lightly squeezed. I softly begin to kiss his jaw…Tony rolled over so he was now on top of me. He wouldn’t kiss me back but he slid my nighty up and pulled my panties down. He used his knee to guide my legs open placing his hardness into his fist stroking himself once then twice before finding my wetness with the tip. “Oh yeah…mmm” I moaned as he slid into me slowly. He buried his face into my neck and began to move. He was so quiet but I did wake him up so maybe he just needed a minute to get into it. I wrapped my legs around his waist using them to let him know I wanted him to go faster. Knowing right away what I wanted from him he began pumping his hips. He let out a small grunt and I was building getting so close I could feel it. He continued to move aggressively when all at once he tensed and after one more thrust he stilled. WHAT! You have got to be kidding me. Um hello I wasn’t finished! He rolled off of me and I just continued to look up at the ceiling trying to figure out what just happened it was like two minutes total and that included the tiny bit of foreplay I provided. I think that he just set a new record. Tony has never been a minute man. One thing I can definitely say is I never went unsatisfied with this man. I always finished too…until now!

  One

  “Is everything okay? You just seem really distant.” I was feeling a little concerned. He wasn’t saying much and by the expression on his face I felt like he was hiding something. “No Babe I’m just tired and with all the wedding stuff getting closer it just seems really stressful…sorry.” He leaned forward and gave me a kiss on the cheek before getting up from bed and going into the connecting bathroom to take a shower. I heard the water start and felt no better about his mood. He is usually so into making love he is always so vocal but this morning I felt as if he did it to just get it over with. I mean a couple minutes and a few grunts later it was as if I blinked and boom it was done. I felt very uneasy about it lately it seemed he was always in some far off place and it just made me feel as if he would rather be anywhere else but here with me. I decided to get up and go start coffee. I had taken the day off today to finish up some last minute things for the wedding which was fast approaching. I hadn’t been able to discuss it with Tony and with his current mood I decided now to just keep it to myself and avoid stressing him out any more with any details.

  “I may be a little late this evening, I have a meeting at five and then I will be home shortly after.” Tony was fully dressed in his suit and seemed to be in a big hurry. “I made coffee. Do you want anything to eat?” He rushed passed me quickly pressing a kiss to my temple, “No I’ll just grab some coffee and a bite at the office.” He was at the door and exiting before I could respond. “Oh okay honey have a wonderful day…I love you too.” I said aloud to no one as I stood at the kitchen island looking out toward Tony’s truck which was now backing down the driveway to leave.

  I had planned to spend the day getting some cleaning done along with going to the bridal store to do my final fitting for my dress. I had to check on the flowers and also verify that our travel plans for our honeymoon were all in order. Tony and I were only a week actually less than a week from our big day. We have been together for four years and engaged for a little over a year. I was so excited for Saturday and ready to become Mrs. Anthony Marcus. I just wish he could relax. It seems over the last few weeks he has been so busy at work and irritable. Tony is an architect and works for his uncle. He has been working long hours and I was so looking forward to getting him on our plane to Jamaica where he can relax.

  After my shower I gathered all my things and decided to begin my day of catch up.

  Two

  “Hello sweetheart, how is the lovely bride to be doing this morning?” Vera greeted me as I walked into the Bridal Boutique. Vera is a kind woman with silver hair and extremely talented at what she does. “Good morning Vera, I’m doing wonderful just here for my final fitting.” Her smile was so bright, “Well darling let’s get you in your gown.”

  It was perfect we were having an outdoor wedding and I went with a strapless Lace over Charmeuse Gown with Soutache Detail. It was Beautiful and fit perfectly. I was so extremely happy with the alterations. I felt amazing and couldn’t wait for everyone to see it. The veil completed it as Vera brought it in the room and carefully slid it into place. I couldn’t help the tear that escaped down my cheek. “It’s perfect Vera…perfect. You are so amazing.” She placed her hand onto my shoulder leaning in, “No Darling you are perfect and a very beautiful bride to be.” Looking into the mirror admiring my dream gown and knew I would change nothing more it was absolutely the perfect wedding gown.

  After I made arrangements to have the gown delivered on Saturday morning to me I made my way down the street to the floral shop and checked on all the flowers. I was meeting my best friend Allison for a quick lunch. While I was waiting at the café I had decided to go ahead and wipe out my next item on the list and check on the travel arrangements for our honeymoon. I was just finishing up my call when Allison came in and flopped down into the seat across from me. Ending my call I let out a little laugh at her expression, “What’s going on you look frustrated?” She just rolled her eyes in return, “I hate my mother in law she is a pain in my ass. I just spent the last hour on the phone with her listening to her tell me how Mitch likes his socks folded…I shit you not. This is my life!” She let out a huff blowing her bangs out of her eyes. I laughed at her…Mitch and Allison have only been married eight months and he is an only child which means he is a total mommy’s boy. Allison has to try to convince his mom on a daily basis that she can take care of him now. Poor girl! “I had to hear last night that I was not vacuuming the floor correctly and I was fighting the urge to tell her to bend over so I could show her exactly what I really wanted to do with the damn vacuum. I might seriously have to super glue her lips shut…she is driving me insane!” I laughed into my hand. My best friend was a very outspoken girl but had to control herself when it came to Mitch’s mother. “Okay so let me buy you a very well deserved strawberry Margarita for the shit you deal with from your Monster in law…sound good?” Of course Allison accepted and we placed our orders.

  I decided after lunch I would stop by work and visit with a few of my favorite patients. I am a physical therapist at Easter Seals and when I am off I always miss my little people. I have Monday, Wednesday and Friday with Ethan who is a little guy with cerebral palsy. He is six years old and as sweet as can be. “Hey buddy how are things going?” I knelt down next to him as he sat in the chair awaiting his therapy to b
egin. When he turned toward me his face lit up and he had to hug me. “I missed you…I am ready.” I had explained to him on Friday that I would not be helping him today but after I explained it again he seemed sad but understood. After getting Ethan into the room and helping to get him set up with Katie the therapist taking my place for the day I said my good byes and decided to make a stop at the grocery store.

  I wanted to make a special dinner for Tony and maybe cuddle on the couch and watch a movie. I was hoping his mood was better than it was this morning. I was still revved up from the fact that he left me hanging on the edge and I had every intention of attacking him this evening and this time I would get to finish. After getting all I needed and checking out I loaded the car and drove toward our home to get things done before he got there.

  Three

  I was surprised when I turned the corner and our driveway came into view Tony’s Ford Truck was there. He never came home early unless he was sick and even then you had to be really sick. Being concerned that he may be ill I decided to go in and check on him before carrying in the grocery bags. I only grabbed the two smaller ones in the passenger seat and made my way to the front door. He had left the door unlocked and I slowly entered just in case he was asleep I didn’t want to disturb him. “Fuck yeah…oh yeah baby damn! Fucking hell! Cum yes come on cum for me!” I turned the corner and I saw Tony from behind…his pants were around his ankles and he was screwing some girl who at this time I could only see her legs. The air in my lungs felt as if it had all been sucked out and my knees were shaking. “Fuck me Tony…Yes!” At that moment the voice that had just shouted to my fiancée to fuck her was too familiar. I had to pull it together and now I was seeing red. “Fuck ya…Heather…I am so close baby I’m gonna cum!” Heather…my cousin I’d felt as if the next few minutes went in slow motion.

  “Well who am I to stop you from cumming Tony. I mean wasn’t it just this morning that you fucked me and finished before I came? So by all means go ahead and finish…” They both scrambled as I stood in the doorway still clutching on to my purse and the bags of vegetables. “Sam honey let me explain.” Tony was frantic as Heather had made her way to the island and was now getting her clothes back on. “Oh yes Tony please I would love to hear your excuse for fucking my cousin on our kitchen table.” I would not allow myself to cry. He was not worth my tears not now. How could he do this to me? “I am sorry babe I just…” he was searching for something to say and I lost it. I walked over passing him and going straight to my twenty one year old cousin grabbing her by the hair. She was half dressed but I didn’t care I pulled her to the front door and shoved her out. She was screaming sorry the entire way…sorry yeah I would have to agree she was a sorry excuse of a person.

  Tony had his pants back on now and his belt done up. I turned back to face him, “How long? How long have you been cheating on me…fucking her?” Tony just looked at me with a lost look. Hell no I refused to care at this point. His feelings were absolutely no concern to me. “HOW LONG!” I screamed at him making him flinch. After he took a deep breath and ran his hand through his hair he looked up at me, “A few weeks…maybe a month.” I don’t know why hearing that he had been fucking my cousin for the last month made a difference I mean would I have felt better if he said this was the first time. No it didn’t matter he was a piece of shit.

  He took a step in my direction and I raised my hands up for him to stop. I was barely controlling the tears that were pooling in my eyes. I wanted to hit him, to throw things and scream. I felt like my world had just been ripped out of my hands. I had just found the man that I was supposed to marry in five days fucking someone on my kitchen table. “I love you Sammy…you know I do. I screwed up I am so sorry” he pleaded to me as he reached out his hand toward me. I stepped toward him and brought my hand up quickly smacking him across his face. “Get. The. Fuck. Out…NOW!” I screamed at him. He stayed looking at me for a few seconds and then he turned and walked out the door. When it closed I collapsed to the floor and cried so hard…gut wrenching sobbing cries. I heard his truck as he pulled out and drove away.

  Four

  I wasn’t sure how long I had actually cried there on my kitchen floor. My phone had been ringing in my purse over and over .I had set ‘Sexual Healing’ by Marvin Gaye as Tony’s ringtone so the fact that it was him gave me no desire to attempt to answer. I can say I honestly hate that song now. I found the strength to go out and finish unloading the items from my car. I knew I would have to face what just happened but right now I just wanted to free my mind of it for a little bit.

  Once everything was in and put away I found the bottle of wine that I had bought for dinner. Who needs a glass I just started drinking from the bottle. I walked over to the stereo in the corner and turned it on. I was feeling lost as I wondered around my home with all the things that reminded me of a life with Tony that I would have been living. How could this have happened I thought we were happy? I thought we had an amazing sex life and that we were meant to be together. If he wasn’t happy why didn’t he say something?

  Before I knew it the bottle of wine was now over half gone and I was feeling a little numb. I walked into our room and started grabbing Tony’s clothes from the closet and dragging them out into the foyer to drop them into a pile. I grabbed the drawers and just brought them out to tip them upside down dumping all the contents out. The pile had now grown in size and there were scattered pieces that I had dropped along the way throughout the hallway.

  I jumped as the doorbell rang still holding Tony’s pillow in my hand I froze. I wasn’t going to let him in I had chained the doors and he was not staying here. After I ignored him long enough he would go away. Hopefully! “Damn it Samantha open the door. Let me in!” Allison’s voice rang from the front porch. I dropped the pillow where I was standing and made my way to the door slowly undoing the chain and pulling it open. Once she saw my face her irritated expression changed. “Oh honey what happened?” Reaching her hands up to grip my shoulders and I just stepped aside to allow her in. She took a step in and closed the door behind her. Once she looked around the room scanning the mountains of Tony’s things she slowly brought herself back to meet me.

  “Hey…Tony called and told me that I needed to come over here. He never said why just that you needed me. Why didn’t you call me? What’s going on?” I laughed lightly, “Tony called you huh? Do you mean he called you to come over here and be with me but he didn’t fill you in and what happened?” Allison just shook her head as she continued to look at me with so much concern. I threw my hands up in the air in a no big deal kind of way, “Oh okay well let me fill in the blanks. I came home this afternoon to find Tony fucking the hell out of my cousin Heather on our kitchen table. Yeah, apparently the have been going at it for the last month but he is sorry and he still loves me…” I shrugged and walked back to the kitchen island to pick up the bottle of unfinished wine.

  Allison was dumbfounded “That sorry son of a bitch. Honey Come here…” she walked over to me taking me into her arms and hugging me tightly. “Did you beat the hell out of the little whore?” I just shook my head, “No but I did drag her out by her hair and threw her out the front door half naked.” She laughed, “Well that will do for now but you do know the little bitch deserves a beat down right?” Allison was trying to make me smile. “So can I join you in packing up all his shit?” Still hugging me tightly I pulled back and looked at her smiling lightly. “You can help but I am not packing it. I’m throwing it all out on the front lawn, he can fucking pick the shit up himself I am sure as hell not doing him any favors.”

  I walked over to the front door and opened it turning to grab some of the clothes off the closest pile. I walked out and threw them onto the lawn. When I turned back there stood Allison just watching me. I think she thought I was joking. “Do you think that Mitch could change the locks for me?” She nodded in response and reached for her phone to call him, “Of course he will.” I was extremely thankful at that moment that I convin
ced Tony to wait until after the honeymoon to start looking for a house and that we continued with an extension on our lease for this rental house. At least I wouldn’t be stuck with a mortgage. The rent on the house I could handle and I had no intentions of allowing him to have it. This is my home he could sleep in his truck for all I cared.

  “He said after he got done at work he would stop by the hardware store and get the things to change both doors and head over tonight.” Allison looked worried as she looked at me. I was not going to break I refused to allow Tony to break me. “Thanks babe that will help then I won’t have to call a locksmith.” I hollered back at her as I continued to throw out Tony’s clothes creating a scattered mess on the front lawn. She stood and watched me from the hallway which led back to the bedrooms. “Sam, take a break for a minute honey please.” She placed he hand on my shoulder and made me look into her eyes. “Breathe…just breathe for a minute. How on earth are you not falling apart right now? You are worrying me.” I brought both of my hands up to her face placing one on each cheek, “It has a lot to do with the alcohol babe…just let me do this okay. Let me be childish and immature. Let me break his shit and throw all his fucking crap on my front lawn and then call him to tell him. I need to do this because if I don’t create this wall I will cave. I will lose it and be a lost mess and I’m not sure how I will pick up the pieces...Please just let me do this.” Allison just agreed by nodding her head and I continued to remove Tony’s things.

  My front lawn was scattered with every piece of clothing I could find that belonged to him. Mitch had arrived and was working on switching over the locks when I saw headlights flash through the front window. I turned just in time to see Tony getting out of his truck and walking up the drive. The look on his face was of pure shock as he took in the items scattered throughout the front yard. Allison looked worried as she exchanged glances with Mitch. “Don’t worry Alli, I am fine. I’m a little tipsy and it is actually making me feel a little more brave than normal.” I scrunched up my forehead and kissed her on the cheek, “I got this girl…don’t worry I’m a big girl.” I walked to the front door and opened it just as Tony was about to ring the doorbell. I didn’t say anything I just shrugged my shoulders and looked out into the yard and then back to him. “Sam, can we talk please?” He appeared to be wearing the same clothes as he was when he left and his hair was still a mess as if he had been continuously running his hands through it. I stepped out the front door onto the porch forcing him to take a step backwards. I crossed my arms and leaned against the now closed door behind me, “What could there possibly be left to say Tony?” He looked up at me and his eyes appeared glossy and I quickly turned my head away from him to keep from breaking down. “Sam, look at me please…please!” He stepped in closer and I turned to him giving him a look that I only hoped made him realize that he was close enough. He dropped his hands back down to his sides. He quickly lowered his head and ran his hand through his hair pausing before once again dropping them.