Scarred by Love Read online

  Scarred by Love

  By C.A. Harms

  Scarred by Love

  Copyright © 2014 by C.A. Harms. All rights reserved.

  First Print Edition: March 2014

  Limitless Publishing, LLC

  Kailua, HI 96734

  www.limitlesspublishing.com

  Formatting: Limitless Publishing

  ISBN-13: 978-1496112767

  ISBN-10: 1496112768

  No part of this book may be reproduced, scanned, or distributed in any printed or electronic form without permission. Please do not participate in or encourage piracy of copyrighted materials in violation of the author’s rights. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.

  This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents either are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to locales, events, business establishments, or actual persons—living or dead—is entirely coincidental.

  Dedication

  To my husband the one that gave me my Happy ever after. Not everyone gets to find their prince, not everyone gets the happy ending. You give me the courage to be who I am and love what I do. Thank you for always being on my side. Thank you for being the man that stands behind me no matter what.

  Table of Contents

  Prologue

  Chapter One

  Chapter Two

  Chapter Three

  Chapter Four

  Chapter Five

  Chapter Six

  Chapter Seven

  Chapter Eight

  Chapter Nine

  Chapter Ten

  Chapter Eleven

  Chapter Twelve

  Chapter Thirteen

  Chapter Fourteen

  Chapter Fifteen

  Chapter Sixteen

  Chapter Seventeen

  Chapter Eighteen

  Chapter Nineteen

  Chapter Twenty

  Chapter Twenty-One

  Chapter Twenty-Two

  Chapter Twenty-Three

  Chapter Twenty-Four

  Chapter Twenty-Five

  Chapter Twenty-Six

  Chapter Twenty-Seven

  Chapter Twenty-Eight

  Chapter Twenty-Nine

  Chapter Thirty

  Chapter Thirty-One

  Chapter Thirty-Two

  Chapter Thirty-Three

  Chapter Thirty-Four

  Chapter Thirty-Five

  Chapter Thirty-Six

  Chapter Thirty-Seven

  Chapter Thirty-Eight

  Chapter Thirty-Nine

  Chapter Forty

  Chapter Forty-One

  Chapter Forty-Two

  Chapter Forty-Three

  Chapter Forty-Four

  Chapter Forty-Five

  Chapter Forty-Six

  Chapter Forty-Seven

  Chapter Forty-Eight

  Chapter Forty-Nine

  Graduation

  Prologue

  “Riley come on…don’t be such a tease.” Parker pulled me tightly to his chest as his mouth covered mine. I could taste the whiskey on his lips. With his kiss it was more than obvious he was completely wasted.

  I walked him back toward the couch and slowly pulled away from him as he fell backwards onto the cushions with a flop.

  “Parker, I’m not teasing. I just think that you need to sleep it off. Maybe I should go back to the dorm and you can call me tomorrow.” I started to back away but he grabbed my arm and pulled it hard. His fingers bit into my skin as he jerked forward. I fell onto the couch next to him. In no time at all his body was covering mine as I hung halfway off the cushions. I lightly struggled against Parker hoping he would let go of my arm.

  He once again crushed his lips to mine, hard and forceful. I could barely breathe as his lips and hands took me over. I tried to push against his chest but it only caused him to squeeze my hip harder.

  “Stop being a bitch, Riley. You act like we’ve never had sex before. Stop denying me what’s mine and relax already.”

  Sex with Parker was one thing but sex with Parker while he was drunk was another. He became aggressive and at times I feared him.

  “Parker please, I just need a minute to breathe. You’re smothering me…please just let me up.”

  He pushed off the couch and stumbled back a few steps before regaining his footing. He bumped into the corner of the coffee table with his leg and turned around quickly to look for what had gotten in his way. With one quick movement he bent down and picked up the corner of the table lifting and shoving it backwards. The items on top of the table flew against the nearest wall right before the wood splintered and crashed to the floor.

  I stood from the couch and took a few steps back toward the front door. My movement caused Parker to face me once again. The look in his eyes scared me beyond belief. He looked crazed and terrifying.

  “What’s wrong Riley? Did I scare you?”

  I let out a slow calming breath and attempted to think of a way to calm him. When he was within a few feet of me, I knew instantly we were past that point. I knew I had pushed too far and no matter what happened I wouldn’t be able to calm him down.

  “Stop acting like a rich little princess. Don’t stand here fucking acting like you’re too damn good for me.” Parker griped my arm at the elbow forcefully shoving me backwards against the wall.

  “Two fucking years Riley! I’ve given your ass two fucking years of my life. I’ve been faithful to you and now you’re turning into this tight ass bitch. I just wanted to feel your body against mine…is that so fucking bad?”

  He was scaring me and I tried to fight the tears that threatened.

  “No, it’s not. I’m sorry…I shouldn’t have said anything. I’m sorry Parker, but you get aggressive when you drink and yes…it scares me.”

  He smiled. Not the sweet sexy smile I’m used to though. It was more like a cocky accomplished smile. Like scaring me was what he wanted. He pressed his body hard against me and ground his hardness against my stomach.

  His hands were squeezing my shoulders with such force, I attempted to look past the fact that he was hurting me, but when it became too much for me to handle I wiggled under his grasp. “Parker you’re hurting me.”

  He shoved himself backwards away from the wall. “Mother fuckin’ hell, Riley. Are you gonna complain the whole fuckin’ time?”

  I could almost see the anger roll off of him and all at once his hand flew forward connecting with my mouth. I cried out as I felt the aftermath of his anger across my face. I didn’t even have time to block the next punch or the ones to follow.

  I slumped against the wall as Parker stood over me yelling out, striking me over and over.

  It ended just as fast as it had begun. He took a step backwards turning to face the kitchen behind us. Parker ran his hand through his hair pushing it away from his eyes.

  “MOTHERFUCKER!”

  He pulled at the ends of his hair in frustration, “God damn it Riley…FUCK!”

  He laced his hands behind his head and shrank to the floor onto his knees. I watched his movements as he slumped forward holding his head in his hands. He was quietly cursing himself.

  My small bag was still draped across my chest and over my shoulder. I was only a few feet from the door and I began running the chances of escaping through my mind.

  After a few silent moments I slowly slid my hand into my bag and felt for my keys. Once I had them against my fingers I griped them tightly and as quietly as possible began to slowly stand from the floor.

  I watch Parker as I took the few steps toward the door. He made no movement as I turned the handle gently. The door was halfway open before it made a creaking noise causing him to turn around. I panicked and ran as fast as I could to
wards my car.

  It was as if someone was watching over me because just as I made it to my car and opened the door, Parker stumbled in his front yard, falling. He hit the ground hard and I jumped into my car. My hands were shaking uncontrollably making it difficult to get my key into the ignition.

  I heard a loud slap on my window just as I turned my key.

  “Riley…please. Don’t leave me. Not like this. I’m sorry please let’s talk about this. We can get through this.”

  I threw the car into reverse and squealed out of the driveway fighting the tears. I had to get out of here, now.

  I drove to the only place I knew I would feel safe, my brother’s house.

  I actually have four brothers but Carson and I have always been the closest. Maybe it had a lot to do with the fact that we were only eleven months apart. I just knew right now I needed him. I needed to feel safe.

  When I pulled into his driveway I almost changed my mind. He lives with a friend and from the looks of it, they were having a party. A small party but at this point it was more people than I wanted to deal with right now.

  I slowly made my way up the driveway to the door and knocked lightly. I heard someone yelling, followed by the door flying open quickly.

  It was my brother that opened the door but not the brother I had expected. Tanner looked at me and I immediately saw the anger in his eyes.

  “What the fuck happened to you?”

  I dropped my hands to my sides and fell forward into his arms. He walked backwards with me in his arms through the doorway.

  Tanner held me close and let me cry hard into his shoulder as he rocked me lightly. For the first time tonight I let myself cave. I gave into the emotion that I had been fighting since I first arrived at Parker’s.

  When I heard Carson’s voice I looked up into his eyes and the tears instantly fell heavier.

  “He fucking hit you?”

  I just nodded my head and that was all it took. Carson was out the door before I could argue with him. Tanner just held me tighter as a few of Carson’s friends ran out the door behind him. I watched as they piled into his truck and then they were gone.

  The silence of the house set in and I looked up to meet Tanner’s sympathetic eyes.

  “We need to call dad Riley. You know I have to right?”

  I just nodded my head and made my way to the couch.

  ***

  Our parents rushed over after Tanner’s phone call, along with Max and Mason my oldest brothers. I hated that they were all hovering over me. I hated feeling weak. I had always tried to make it a point to all of them that I was not in need of their protection. I guess now I looked like an idiot to them.

  “Where is Carson?” My mother asked as she sat next to my father who was holding me tightly against his side. I didn’t want them rushing in to save the day. I was beginning to regret that I had even come here for help.

  “He went after Parker.” Tanner spoke up and I felt my father tense and hold me a little more securely to his side.

  The idea of Carson and Parker fighting made me feel nauseous. I knew that Carson could hold his own weight in a fight but I still didn’t like the idea that Parker may hurt him.

  I flinched when my mother’s voice broke the silence. “Riley Joann, has Parker ever hit you before?” I didn’t have to answer her. When she saw my eyes she just knew. “Oh Honey…why? Why would you stay with him? You know that you deserve better than that.”

  I only cried harder, “I know mom…god, I know.”

  “Enough, it happened and we can’t change it.” My father soothed my tears with his soft whispers.

  “Well, he sure as fuck isn’t gonna touch her again. I can promise ya that much.”

  Leave it to Max and his bad ass rebel ways. He was never one to hold back his language around my parents or anyone else for that matter.

  “Please Maxwell…don’t speak that way in front of your mother or your sister.” My father scolded him and he just huffed out in frustration, throwing his hands up in the air.

  I knew he meant it though. Out of all my brothers Max was the meanest. He was never afraid to speak his mind. Max was always the one getting into fights while we were growing up. He’s my tattooed bad ass player of a brother, nothing like his twin Mason at all.

  Mason is the only brother I have who is married with a child. The other three seemed to change their girlfriends almost as much as they change their boxers.

  My father’s phone vibrated against my side as he pulled away to reach into his pocket.

  “Thomas Parks.”

  My father was silent as he listened to whoever was on the other end of the line. I heard the frustrated sigh escape him. “Okay, we’ll be there soon.”

  All eyes were on my father.

  He’s a surgeon and we’re all used to the calls he gets for emergencies from the hospital but this call was definitely not a call of that nature.

  “We’ve got to go pick up Carson.” He paused and looked at my mother. “He’s been arrested.”

  My heart instantly sank and my throat became dry.

  This was all my fault and I had to fix this. Carson was in trouble now because of me.

  Chapter One

  ~Riley~

  I had taken a semester off after the whole scene with Parker.

  My parents made me go with them to the jail to pick up Carson that night. After I gave my story to the police and they took photos of my face, they arrested Parker. A restraining order was put into place and I chose to hide out at my parent’s house for the next several weeks. I was too embarrassed to face anyone. I felt like I asked for it to happen because I stayed with him. By the time I was ready to face the world again it was too late to go back to school.

  ***

  “So Ry, are you ready to see it?”

  Kate nudged my side and I followed her up the steps.

  “Yep…show me our new place.”

  I had lost my placement in the dorm and since Kate was also in need of a roommate, we chose to rent a small apartment together just off campus. I have been friends with Kate since grade school and I knew this was better for the both of us.

  She turned the knob and pushed the door open.

  “Welcome home sugar pants.” She winked at me as I pushed passed her.

  I had to admit allowing her to find us a place on her own had me a little nervous. Surprisingly she did an amazing job. She had a wild taste in decorating and I figured I’d be living in a place with bright orange walls and purple carpet. When I looked around and saw the cute little homey apartment with cream carpet and white walls I smiled.

  There was a tiny little kitchenette which only had room for a snack bar with stools. It separated the kitchen and living room. We each had our own bathroom attached to our bedrooms which was my only stipulation. I refused to share a bathroom with her. Kate’s a major “Mirror Whore”. She takes too long to get ready and I knew I needed to have my own space. Oh and I can’t forget about how sloppy she can be. I hated the thought of picking off clumps of toothpaste from the vanity before getting ready in the morning. I’d dealt with those globs before when visiting her dorm room and I wasn’t about to live like that daily.

  “So…you like it?”

  I turned around and hugged her tightly, “You did awesome babe…really its perfect.”

  She smiled back at me with such pride and I just shook my head.

  She had already moved her personal things in and over the last few weeks we’ve slowly been buying things at thrift shops and yard sales to fill up our new place. My parents had actually bought us a big comfy couch and love seat so we wanted to fill the rest of the place with things we both equally loved.

  This was our place and we planned on making it just what we wanted.

  Carson and a couple of his friends should be here any minute with my stuff and the things I had stored at my parent’s house.

  I took the time to walk around and check out everything. My room wasn’t huge but it was big
ger than what I had at the dorm. It was my new beginning. This was my chance to start over after everything Parker had put me through.

  The bathroom was tiny but at least I had a huge walk-in closet.

  I had spent so many weeks cooped up after “the Parker incident”; now it was time to start living again. I was finding it difficult to get over the shame I had from the entire situation.

  Parker only had to spend two nights in jail before a couple of his friends bailed him out. They had given me a thirty day restraining order against him. When the thirty days came close to an end I had to appear before a judge to get it reinstated. When Parker didn’t show up they immediately gave it to me for another year.

  If it wasn’t for Carson and Kate I still would have been hiding out in my room at my parent’s house. They finally convinced me to get my ass up and live again. I spent too much time blaming myself for what happened. I had to face the fact that Parker needed help and no matter what I did or said it was not my fault that he had hit me.

  ***

  “Hello…anyone here?” Carson hollered from the opened door just before he stepped inside. I walked out into the hallway and fought the urge to laugh.

  Okay seriously, I couldn’t help shaking my head at my “over the top” brother. Here he stood in our doorway shirtless with his jeans hanging low on his hips. As if I didn’t know what he was really trying to do; please, he was so obvious.

  I smiled at him reaching out to pinch his side. “Shirtless? Really Carson? Just ask her out already, you don’t have to show up half nude.”

  He shrugged and chuckled, “It’s hot as hell out there Ry.” He looked over my shoulder trying to locate Kate. I knew he secretly had the hot’s for her. He had been flirting with her for the last few weeks so heavily I could almost taste it.

  Just then she appeared from her bedroom. “Hey Riley which way should we…” she stopped when she saw Carson. I saw her eyes rake over his broad shoulders and built chest. She instantly licked her lower lip and I hid my giggle with the shirt I held in my hand.