Loving Colt Read online

  “I guarantee you that whoever that was, he won’t get anywhere near you. I won’t let him.” Her head lifted and her reddened eyes focused on my determined stare.

  “It isn’t up to you. You can’t save me.” She paused and wiped the tears from her cheeks. “I can’t go home now, because he’ll look there. He knows that the only place I have to go is to my parents’, but I’m not going back now. I can’t go there. I just have to keep moving and find a way to start over.”

  “I’m thinking that you need to stick around here for a while,” I stated, without thinking twice about it. “Your being on the road isn’t really a good idea.”

  She looked down at the floor between her knees, almost as if she was in a daze.

  “That guy on the phone. Was he your…?” I paused. I figured it was best to let her fill in the blanks, but only if she wanted to talk to me about it.

  There was a long pause of silence, which I took to mean that she had no intention of answering me.

  “He isn’t Maddi’s dad, if that’s what you’re asking. Her dad would have never hurt me; he was a good man. Troy was a marine. I followed him to California, and we talked about getting married after I finished school. He had no idea I was even pregnant. I never got the chance to tell him.” Alex looked up from the floor, and her eyes met mine.

  “He died on active duty,” she whispered.

  My mouth went instantly dry. I wondered if that was all she was going to tell me. The silence set in once again.

  “The guy on the phone was Seth. I met him my junior year of college. He was a friend, someone I hung out with often. We were part of the same group. I never imagined dating him.” Alex shook her head lightly.

  “I went over four years without having even the urge to date. I let my guard down after he tried repeatedly.” Another pause filled the room.

  I didn’t want to say anything, for fear of causing her to shy away from me. I only hoped that my sitting here in silence allowed her to have some sense of peace. Inside I was dying slowly for her. My heart broke over and over at the idea of what she had endured.

  “It was great at first. Seth spoiled me. Maddi too. Everything was almost too perfect.” She lowered her knees and crossed her legs in front of her. “The first time he put his hand on me, I froze. It was so unexpected, and it was almost as if I had dreamt it—the horrific nightmare I had imagined.” She shrugged.

  “He thought I was allowing some guy to hit on me at a party. Seth was drunk, and he pushed me backwards. I stumbled and fell.” I watched as her eyes roamed the small bathroom, looking for something. “Could you hand me those tissues? Please.”

  “Yeah,” I answered hoarsely. My throat burned over all she was confessing in me.

  “Thank you.” The smile she forced was weak.

  I never took my eyes from her as she attempted to clean up her tears.

  Afterward, she lowered her hands to her lap and nervously picked at the Kleenex balled in them with shaky fingers.

  “I broke it off with him immediately. It only angered him more, and since he had run all my friends off already, I just felt alone. When he cornered me about a week later, I was so scared.” Alex’s lower lip trembled as she fought against her impending tears. “He pinned me against my car, with his hand around my throat. I was just getting off work. He told me that things weren’t over because he wasn’t done with me yet.”

  “Son of a…” I growled in frustration. I hung my head and took a deep breath, biting back the words that threatened to spill over.

  When I was sure I could speak sensibly, I tried again.

  “Alex, none of this is your fault, you can’t keep blaming yourself. You left. You got away from him. You took that step, so now let me help you.” She immediately began shaking her head no.

  I held up my hand. “Please let me finish.” I waited for her to agree.

  “I know you barely know me or my family, but I promise you we are here for you if you’ll allow us to help you. No strings, nothing expected in return. Just help. You shouldn’t have to run scared.”

  “I have a hard time leaning on people. I don’t know if I can.” She spoke just barely above a whisper.

  “Just try, that’s all I ask.” She nodded lightly. “Okay. Now the first thing we need to do is get you a new number. Then you can give it out only to those you know won’t pass it on to him.”

  “I haven’t told my family what happened. I know I should have, but my brother would lose it if he knew. Jett has too much to lose over a guy like Seth. I couldn’t live with the fact that he lost it all over a stupid choice I made.” I could see the panic in her eyes.

  “We’ll come up with something,” I assured her.

  Chapter Six

  Alexis

  Colt and his family have been amazing. They have made both Maddison and me feel like we are part of their family. Over the last week, Colt has helped me get myself in order, the best I can.

  I spoke with my family a couple of times and explained that I had changed phone providers and now have a new number. It was a lie I felt horrible about telling, but it was necessary for now. One day I would explain everything, but for now this was best.

  Maddison loves it here, and I am actually growing quite fond of Brooklet myself. It is peaceful and calm, exactly what we need in our lives.

  Colt stops by daily, pretending to help his mother with a new fix in the house. I know there is more to it. I wasn’t blind to the attraction I could sense we were both feeling. I chose to let it find its way to the surface. I didn’t want to force anything.

  Maddison’s squeals from the back yard brought on a panic. I ran for the back door and stopped abruptly. Colt had her held up high above his head, swirling her around. She held her arms out to her sides as she laughed and squealed with delight.

  His deep chuckle filtered through her laughter, and a smile spread out over my lips. I stood watching them play. He lowered her to the ground, and she ran toward the swing set. Colt darted after her, and her laughter only grew louder.

  “He adores her.” I turned quickly to the sound of Ann’s voice. She watched Colt and Maddison play with shimmering eyes. “All I have ever wanted for all of my children is for them to find joy. I have lost contact with my oldest boys. Jake, he calls weekly, and one day he’ll find it. He is so much like his father, though, that I worry about him. Maria and Colton, they are more like me. They have loving souls.”

  She paused as she continued to stare out into the back yard. “Maria found Gavin, and I know that her heart is safe. That man would move mountains to keep her happy. She found a good man. Colt deserves happiness too.”

  Ann turned to face me and her smile grew wider. She reached out, and taking my hand in hers, she squeezed gently. “Sweetheart, I know you have had it rough. I know that you feel as if you have to guard your heart from ever falling again. I just want you to know that if you ever decide to share it again, Colt would keep it safe. He’s been hurt before too.”

  “He doesn’t just adore Maddi, he adores you too. I can see it when he’s near you. I can sense it when he talks about you. Just know that you have a place here with us. We all adore you two, very much.” There was one last squeeze of my hand before she turned and walked toward the living room.

  I felt the lump in my throat grow larger as I thought over her words. Ann was so kind and caring. She opened up her home and her heart to us and has honestly become a very important part of our lives in such a short time. They all have, if I am being honest with myself.

  ***

  Colt stuck around for dinner, and afterward he helped his mother clean up the kitchen. They insisted that I take Maddi and get her ready for bed. She was exhausted from her day, and the signs were beginning to show.

  Once she was settled, I walked toward the kitchen and found it darkened and quiet. I felt disappointed that Colton had left without saying goodbye.

  I was startled by his deep voice filling the darkness. “She fell asleep?”


  I jumped and placed one hand against my chest, covering my mouth with the other. A scream threatened to spill out.

  “Shit, sorry. I didn’t mean to scare ya, sweetheart.” He stood up from the table and walked toward me. He looked concerned as he closed the distance between us. He reached out and brushed his fingertips over my cheek softly. “You okay?” he asked.

  “Yeah, I’m fine, really,” I assured him.

  Colt wrapped his arms around my shoulders and pulled me in close, his masculine scent filling my nose. I buried my face in his chest and enjoyed the safety of his embrace. I loved when he hugged me close.

  Over the last week, he had grown bolder with his attempts to soothe me. At first he kept his distance, but each day he gave a little more, and I let him. I honestly looked forward to him holding me and even just sitting near me more often. There was attraction building between us that was obvious, but it was even more than that. There was a secure feeling when he was close, and each day my trust in him grew. He was becoming someone I could rely on. I found it soothing and terrifying at the same time.

  When he pulled back, he watched me closely. “I really didn’t mean to scare you. I just didn’t want to leave without saying goodbye.”

  “I’m okay,” I assured him once more. “Is Ann in bed already?”

  “Yeah,” he replied. He still held me close, and I could feel his hands playing with the edges of my hair.

  “Do you want to watch something on TV, or do you have to go?” I could feel my stomach begin to tense. I wanted to break the trance that his closeness was causing.

  “I can stick around for a little while longer. I have an early morning, but a little TV wouldn’t hurt.” Colt’s voice took on a new deepness I was sure was filled with a hidden desire. I was feeling it too, and it made me nervous as hell.

  For the next hour, we sat on the couch watching a show I couldn’t tell you one single thing about. The distance had grown between us, but that was all on me. I made sure I kept the space between us. I just wasn’t sure I was ready for what I knew would happen if I touched him. I knew we were both fighting against the need to feel the other.

  ***

  Over the last week, every morning I woke to a rose just outside my bedroom door. Colt would stop by every morning and leave it along with a note. They were short and sweet:

  Good morning, beautiful.

  Have a great day, sweetheart.

  Think of me.

  Each one made my heart race. I found myself wishing for morning to come quickly so I could see what he would write next. I was letting myself feel something for him, something I told myself I had to stay away from.

  My fear of the future repeating itself lay heavily on my mind. Was I being a fool once again? Was I allowing myself to believe that I could be happy and feel loved?

  Chapter Seven

  Colt

  “Hey champ, you ready to go harass Granny?” I roughed up the hair on Mikey’s head as I held him in a headlock. He fought against me.

  His mom, my sister, had taught him about my weak spot, and now I could only hold him for a short time. The moment I felt his hand grip my side, I let go. Yes, I had a ticklish spot on my side. Maria had a big mouth and gave up my secret.

  “I’m ready, but we have to wait on them now.” He motioned over his shoulder toward the hall.

  Gavin fussed over Maria, and she swatted at his arm. “I am fine, you brute. My feet work. Will you stop already? The doctor has even told you we are both perfect, so let it go already.”

  I chuckled at her obvious annoyance with his over-protective manner. After the loss of their first baby, he hovered over her every move. I can’t say I blame him. A loss like that would scare the shit out of any father. I was sure Maria wouldn’t be able to take another loss like that. This little rug rat would be spoiled for sure, by everyone.

  “Will you tell this man that I am not an invalid?” She groaned as she walked toward the front door.

  “I just came to pick up my buddy here. You’re on your own with that one over there.” I knelt down and threw Mikey up over my shoulder. I quickly rushed out the door before Maria could stop me. She was close to eight months pregnant, so she wasn’t moving real fast these days.

  I chuckled when I heard her call me an ass, just before the door closed to muffle her aggravated voice.

  ***

  It has been almost two weeks since I convinced Alex to stay here in Brooklet. She planned on looking for an apartment she could rent out month to month, but momma wouldn’t hear of it. She said Maddison and Alex belonged with her, and I had to admit I liked the idea too. They both needed each other in their own ways, and it comforted me to see the closeness develop between them. Alex and Maddison fit in with everyone.

  We were all gathering at Kori’s parents’ house for a Sunday lunch. It was actually a baby shower, but Maria was oblivious. She was used to the big get-togethers at Gemma and Bud’s place, so she didn’t suspect a thing.

  Kori pulled Alex in under her wing, and both she and Leann made her feel welcome. I thought about the comments she had made about losing all her friends, and it made me feel good about convincing her to stay. She was instantly loved and became part of their little group.

  Mikey and I took a seat on the couch and watched the girls rush around the room. They were completing a few last-minute things before the guest of honor arrived.

  Alex had on a soft pink dress that hugged her body perfectly, and I couldn’t keep myself from admiring her. I thought I had gone undetected until I caught Gemma giving me a questioning glance. I shifted nervously in the chair, but all she did was smile and wink.

  I had kept everything between Alex and me at a very slow pace, or so I tried like hell to do. The last thing she needed was some guy drooling over her. She had enough problems to work through.

  I am ten years older; it’s my luck she thinks I’m too old for her. Hell, maybe I am, but I can’t deny I’m attracted to her. That first night I saw her at the diner, she caught my eye.

  Alex has a sweet innocence about her and a quiet nature that makes you feel like everything is perfect, even when it isn’t.

  Maddison ran in from the kitchen, straight in my direction. She too wore a pink dress like her mommy. Maddison’s was a little fluffier and had a lace overlay on the skirt.

  She dove for me, and I scooped her up and pulled her close. “Hey princess, you look pretty. Did you get a new dress?”

  Her little head began nodding up and down quickly. “Mommy found it at the sale,” she stated proudly.

  “The sale, huh?” I knew Alex had gone to yard sales with my mom and Maria. I don’t know why the thought of her scrounging for clothes and personal items bothered me so much.

  I just wished she would take me up on my offer to take them shopping. The look on her face when I offered was one I don’t want to see again. I know I offended her, but I honestly just wanted to do something nice for them.

  I found myself feeling like I needed to protect them and care for them often. It was a completely new feeling, but one I was kind of liking.

  “They’re here,” Kori hollered from the front doorway, and all the guests scurried off toward the kitchen.

  Maria knew that most of the people here came to Gemma’s Sunday meals, but the others in attendance parked out back. I think Kori invited the entire teaching staff and faculty from the elementary school.

  I kept my spot on the couch with Maddi on my lap and Mikey tucked in at my side.

  I could hear Maria telling Gavin she could climb the stairs without his help. All I could do was chuckle and shake my head. He was still hovering, and if she was wearing her red boots, I was sure he would be sporting one in his ass by now. That was if she had the ability to lift her leg high enough.

  As she stepped in through the front door and looked around, I could see she looked suspicious. Before she could ask, everyone yelled surprise and she jumped back startled.

  “Oh hell.” She leaned forward. �
�Honestly, y’all, do you not know that I have a hard enough time not peeing myself every time I move? Now you just scared the piss right out of me.” She laughed.

  All I could do was wrinkle up my nose in disgust. “Nice, Mar,” I groaned.

  As the party moved forward, I watched Alex hide back more and more. She didn’t know all of these people, and each time someone asked her something personal, I could sense her nervous behavior getting worse.

  My instinct to protect her was pulling at something deep inside me. I waited for her wandering eyes to connect with mine. The moment they did, I winked and motioned with my head for her to come over and join me on the couch. At first she was hesitant, which made my stomach ache. An unwanted sense of rejection.

  Then she walked in my direction, and that tension turned to excitement. I felt like a kid with his first crush.

  She sat down next to me, a lot closer than I had expected. In fact, her entire left side was pressed snugly against mine. I took pleasure in it and wrapped my arm around her shoulders.

  “It’s a bit overwhelming, isn’t it?” I leaned in toward her ear and whispered.

  “Yes,” she whispered in return, her sweet innocence once again shining through.

  We sat close, with her hand unconsciously lying on my thigh. I was pretty sure she had not yet picked up on that fact. Or maybe she had; all I knew was that I loved the feel of her hand on me.

  I avoided the stares from around the room. I could feel them on us, but I was focusing on only one person right now. I didn’t want Alex to get any more uncomfortable than she already was.

  Instead, I focused on Maddi playing in the center of the floor. There were a few other little girls her age, and she was enjoying the time with them.

  I took a chance and began trailing my fingertips along Alex’s arm. When she didn’t object, I continued the gesture. I was pretty sure it soothed me more than her. I wanted this closeness with her and was too afraid to make an attempt. This felt like it could be a turning point for us.