Sinful (Desired Affliction Book 4) Read online

  The size of my first class was intimidating. It was at its max of twenty people, and Kole was already talking to me about adding more time slots.

  My head was spinning.

  Apparently word had gotten around on the UNC campus, and students were climbing the walls to learn how to defend themselves if the opportunity arose.

  “Charlotte.” I’d just finished teaching and thought everyone had already left. The soft voice startled me, and I spun around to come face to face with a tiny brunette. She couldn’t have been more than ninety pounds, and if I had to guess her age, I had a feeling I’d be way off.

  She looked twelve.

  “Sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you like that.” She offered a timid smile. “I was just wondering if you had a minute.”

  “You’re fine, and call me Charlie.” She nodded as she worried her hands in front of her, looking back over her shoulder. “Everyone else has left,” I assured her, which seemed to help her relax.

  She took in a deep breath, and something about her stance worried me.

  “What’s your name?” I asked, trying to help her through this, whatever it was.

  “Leah,” she said in more of a whisper.

  “Why don’t we have a seat over here?” I waved my hand in the direction of the few chairs that lined the back wall of the studio room.

  Once we were seated, she looked up at me and forced a smile. “Sorry I’m being so weird.” She rolled her eyes. “I just have a hard time expressing myself.”

  I felt like she needed a push, something to make her feel like she could trust me with whatever it was that was torturing her.

  “I used to hide in my room every night. I hated being in crowds, around people I didn’t know,” I confessed. “My father forced me to go to counseling. It was so hard to break free from that cage I’d built around me, so I know what it feels like to fight a battle with your own self.”

  Her eyes filled with tears, and I knew I had hit a tender spot.

  “We all have things that make us fearful of moving forward. But we can’t let fears be crippling; we have to fight back. We have to stand tall and show our true strengths, be determined to beat anything in our way.”

  Her lower lip trembled.

  And my heart broke for her.

  “I’m trying,” she said. “That’s why I’m here.”

  “What brought you here?” It may have seemed pushy, and I was in no way a therapist, but something told me this girl needed a friend. I felt like I had once been her, a girl so drowning in her own fear and anxiety that I had no idea which way was up anymore.

  “I’ve spent my entire life bouncing around from home to home, a new family each year it felt like.” And if I hadn’t felt raw before, the thought of this sweet girl never having any form of stability ripped me open. “I don’t even remember my real parents. I was so young when they died.”

  My throat burned, and I could sense my own vision blurring from tears that threatened me. Memories of losing my mother and sister came rushing back.

  “I’ve never really felt like I belonged anywhere. Most families just ignored me, unless there was a reason they had to acknowledge me. But when I was thirteen, I was placed in a home that honestly at the time felt like it might be the one.” She paused and began twisting her hands nervously once again in her lap. “I loved the attention they gave me. Always involved in my life, taking me places and buying me things. I never really took the time to analyze each touch or longing look, not until it was too late.”

  At that, my stomach felt as if it bottomed out. I felt sick. I’d thought maybe she was going to say she was smacked around, but not this.

  “It was stopped before it went too far, but to an extent, the damage was already done at that point.” She shrugged. “It just became easier to hide out, stay to myself. But I can’t live like that any longer. At times the fear inside me is almost crippling. I just want to be strong enough to go out for a cup of coffee and read a book in the park without jumping at every little noise. I want to be able to take a morning walk without sprinting back home in fear because some guy said ‘Hi’ and flirted with me as I passed him on the walking trail.”

  “I want to be stronger, like you,” she whispered.

  I reached out and took her hand in mine, which caused her to jerk in response to my touch. I didn’t let it stop me.

  “You already have that strength inside you; we just need to help you realize it’s there,” I assured her. “Leah, I wasn’t always who I am now. There was a time when I was so lost, my father feared the daughter he once knew would never return.”

  Speaking of my past was never easy, but I felt at this point it was needed. I wanted Leah to understand that we could come back from devastating times, we just had to want to.

  “I was sixteen when I lost my mother and sister.” I took in a deep breath and stared directly at her as the shock of my words registered on her face.

  “They were murdered during a home invasion, and I watched the entire thing through a slightly ajar closet door. Those memories will always haunt me, but I can’t let them destroy me.” A tear dripped from my cheek, and I quickly swiped it away. “You keep coming every Thursday, heck more often if you want. I’ll work with you. We’ll find that inner bad ass that’s inside you, I promise. She’s there. We just have to let her know it’s time to show her face.”

  “Thank you,” Leah whispered as she leaned in and hugged me in relief.

  “You’re welcome,” I said as I hugged her back.

  I saw so much of my old self inside Leah. Call it instinct, call it whatever you want, but in that moment there was absolutely nothing I wanted more than to show her that she was an amazing girl who deserved to shine.

  Chapter Four

  Brock

  I walked away from the studio room that Charlotte now occupied feeling nauseated.

  I had every intention of going up there to apologize for my less-than-appropriate behavior, and yes, most likely hit on her, but I stopped just before entering when I heard voices filtering out from the room.

  I never meant to eavesdrop, but it was impossible not to remain frozen as the words she spoke sunk in.

  And now I felt sick.

  Sickened by the thought of what she had to witness.

  I couldn’t imagine watching anyone hurt a member of my family while I was forced to see the entire thing unfold.

  This was one of those life lessons I’d had to suffer through lectures about. And hell yeah, I thought most of them were just people blowing hot air out their asses, attempting to break my dumb ass streak of idiotic behaviors. But now I understood the true meaning of the words “everything is not always what it seems.”

  This woman had suffered through such a traumatic experience, and she took that devastation and flipped it around, using it to help others.

  That was admirable.

  Here I was fucking up right and left, acting as if the world around me and the life I’d been given were just some game. As if all my actions had no consequences, but the reality was everything I said and did had some reflection on someone else.

  “You get that locker room cleaned.” I spun around to see Kole approaching with a snarky look on his face. The guy didn’t like me, but he had a reason for it.

  “Yes,” I assured him with a nod.

  Since my less-than-professional actions in the locker room, followed by my naked streak through the hall, Kole had placed me on janitorial duty. A probation period, if you will.

  I was stuck cleaning the grime from others for ninety days.

  I took it.

  Because frankly it was much better than I thought I’d be granted. I honestly expected to be shit canned.

  “The towels are piling up in the weight room, and the floor in the main lobby needs to be mopped.” He didn’t say anything further as he pushed past me and answered the ringing cell in his hand.

  The change in the tone of his voice indicated it was most likely his wife. He was anoth
er guy who became all soft when he spoke with his woman.

  Between him, Adam, and Radley, they were all the most whipped men I’d ever met. I thought my mom had my dad wrapped tightly around her finger, but honestly they had nothing on this group.

  It was nauseating, and yeah, maybe I was a little curious what the hype was all about.

  I heard shuffling of feet and turned around to see not only Charlotte but a young brunette emerging from the stairway that led upstairs to the three studio rooms used for all the classes that Kole offered.

  When Charlotte looked up and noticed me standing there, she narrowed her eyes and squared her shoulders. My old ways kicked in, because it was hard to control them. I smirked and leaned back against the wall.

  Neither of us spoke a word as they both passed me.

  Charlotte had her long red hair pulled back in a ponytail, which pooled down the center of her back. The tight clothing she wore showed off the fact that she took great care of her body. Toned legs, great ass, yeah, I looked.

  As I trailed up her body, I locked eyes with her as she was now looking back over her shoulder at me.

  I shot her a smile, and the only thing I was offered in return was an arch of her brow.

  She was a feisty one; that was obvious.

  “Is there something you needed?” she asked as if she was annoyed, but I could see in her eyes she was far from irritated. I’m pretty sure the woman knew she turned heads.

  “Yeah,” I stated with confidence. “But we can discuss it later,” I told her.

  I actually still fully intended on apologizing, but at that moment, I couldn’t seem to tame the wild thoughts that were running through my head.

  “My schedule’s pretty full, so don’t hold your breath on that one. It may be a while before I find the time. Your first impression didn’t give me any reason to be intrigued.” She walked away as if she had gotten the upper hand, and maybe she did.

  For now.

  ***

  Adam was still walking around pretending I didn’t exist, and I understood. I had embarrassed him in front of the people he had grown quite close to. I had taken the chance I’d been given and basically spit on it.

  So I’d take the silence, or the judgmental stares, for now. I’d prove I was sorry for my actions.

  Deep down, I knew the guy understood. Because not so long ago, he was pulling some of the same shit I had. He was hooking up with random girls, drinking heavy, and partying hard.

  Hell, he had even tried the quickie in the public gym shower. And his mistake had honestly turned out worse than mine, as he lost his job and was unable to obtain another. But it led him here, to Natalie.

  I’d say in the end he won big.

  I’d never seen my big brother happier.

  So being shunned for the time being would be something I’d deal with. I knew it wouldn’t last. I just had to prove I was ready to change.

  As Natalie said before, the bad boy image wasn’t working for me anymore.

  Chapter Five

  Charlotte

  I was abruptly jarred from my sleep by not one but two very large, very happy German shepherds. Roxy and Romeo, both two year olds and always in need of all my attention.

  I was a sucker for their big puppy dog eyes, and they both knew it. I think they played me from the start when I first saw them in that crate inside Marlin’s pet store. I went in for fish food for Franklin, my goldfish, and came out with two puppies and a shit ton of other things the salesclerk insisted I needed.

  Now here I was two years later, so in love with the two of them it was insane. Franklin had already met his maker, during a mishap I would not discuss, but these two little rascals were like my kids.

  They slept with me every night and woke me up every morning. It had become one of the favorite parts of my day.

  I groaned as Roxy lay across my midsection and Romeo hmmphed in annoyance because he wanted that spot. I laughed as he spun in a circle near my feet and then finally gave up and lay at my side.

  “What’s wrong, bud? Is Rox being bossy again?” I laughed when her ears went up, and she looked toward Romeo. I swear she got sassier every day.

  “Who’s hungry?” I asked, knowing that it was one sure way to get them moving.

  Within seconds, they were both up, leaping from the bed and waiting at my bedroom door, wiggling excitedly.

  Both followed closely behind as I made my way toward the kitchen and opened the closet to scoop out their doggy chow. I had found out quickly that I couldn’t leave the bag accessible after I realized Romeo would help himself to the bag if he felt I wasn’t feeding him enough.

  I came home to find a forty-pound bag of dog food scattered across my kitchen floor and two dogs who were chowing down in the center of the mess. It was questionable who the culprit was until I set a trap and found the scoundrel was my Romeo.

  Little devil, when he wanted something, he went for it. Like most guys I’d come across, he had no limits.

  Speaking of men, I couldn’t get a certain streaking one out of my mind. He was attractive, and in my defense it had been a very long time since my last intimate relationship, but this guy had trouble written all over him.

  He was cocky and so full of himself you could almost see the man’s ego bursting every single time he entered a room.

  Which was exactly why I needed to stay far away.

  For one thing, we both worked at the gym, and that in itself had disaster written all over it.

  Now to convince my libido to stop hassling my mind. The bitch was putting up a good fight. Even my trusty little vibrator was no longer satisfying the overbearing neediness.

  ***

  With my water bottle in hand, I climbed the steps toward the studio room that in just a few short minutes would house my next class.

  It had been a couple of weeks since I first started working at the gym, and I had finally fallen into a comfortable pattern. I no longer felt nervous of what the next day might bring. I was confident of success, not only my own but of those within my classes too.

  It was one of the best feelings to see someone who doubted their abilities excel beyond their own expectations. It was the greatest kind of high to know I helped them get there.

  Their goals became my goals, and together we continued to grow.

  I was feeling hyped, energized, and ready to get started.

  That was until I entered my class to find the naked arrogant bastard himself in the classroom. He was talking to a few girls and laughing. He wore a pair of shorts and a tight-fitting muscle shirt, his arms crossed over his chest, making the definition in his shoulders and biceps more prominent.

  I was irritated almost instantly for a variety of reasons.

  One, there was no way in hell he was going to use my class to pick up women.

  Two, this was not the time or the place for his egotistical games.

  And three, which I believed was the most important, there is no way in hell I would allow him to get to me. I would stand face to face with this guy, and I would not falter under his penetrating stare. Even though on the inside, my body was humming from being in his presence for only a short time.

  I entered the room, and as everyone began to notice my arrival, a few offered friendly hellos, and I greeted them in return.

  I refrained from looking at him and began getting myself situated.

  The three women he was talking to were three I’d never had in my class. All three were pretty, fit girls who now all offered me kind smiles.

  I stepped up in front of the classroom, still ignoring Brock and his smile. He was just waiting for a reaction from me, and I wouldn’t bite.

  “Some of you are here for the first time.” I began speaking to them as a whole as I scanned over the new faces and the ones I recognized. “So I welcome you.”

  I then allowed myself to connect with Brock when I spoke again. “This is a class that offers you the techniques you need to ward off those who don’t get your subtle hints
. Maneuvers you may use to protect yourself when you feel as if there are no other means. Because let’s face it, sometimes a simple no just isn’t enough.” He grinned but continued to hold my stare. “Sometimes it takes force to make a statement.”

  I began scanning the room once again and settled on the three women who were all now grinning at me as if they knew something I did not.

  “I’d like you to pair up,” I said.

  I watched as they began to look around the room, finding partners one by one. I noticed Brock moving toward me, and I continued to address the class as if the closer he got didn’t affect me at all.

  Even though I could feel my heart beating rapidly.

  “When it comes to your safety, survival is the key.” Even I could hear the shakiness in my voice, and it frustrated me. “Defeat your attacker by any means necessary. So today I’ll show you some basic techniques you may use whenever you feel threatened and find that the need to get away is warranted.”

  Brock stood only a few feet away, and I had no other option but to acknowledge his closeness.

  “Can I help you?” I asked, and he did his best to fight against his grin.

  “It would appear that there are an odd number in class today, and I’ve been unable to find a partner,” he replied.

  Unable my ass, he hadn’t even tried. But okay, fine.

  “Then it looks like I have no other choice but to pair with you myself.” I didn’t miss the pleased look in his eyes just before he nodded in agreement.

  “Now please remember that prevention is self-defense. If you can avoid putting yourself in harm’s way, take that route; it is the best option. But what I want to show you today are options when those situations are unavoidable.” I looked over at Brock and almost felt giddy when an idea struck me.

  “It would appear that I now have a volunteer who has agreed to allow me to show each of you first hand the techniques to ward off a predator.” I looked over at Brock and smirked before turning back to the class. “Though your attacker will not be prepared for your defensive measures, I feel it is only right that I allow Brock here to suit up first.”