Chaos (Phoenix Undercover #2) Read online

  I knew what he meant by “business,” and the thought made me sick.

  “Xavier said he had no interest in being a part of his father’s lifestyle, but he does think he can help us find him.”

  “And why would he do that, Frank? What does he have to gain?”

  “He wants assurance his mother will be safe. He wants us to guarantee we’ll place her in a secure area and keep her out of Roman’s clutches. She’s still being sold by him.”

  “Sick son of a bitch,” I grumbled as my stomach turned.

  “He told Xavier when he chooses to join the business, he’ll leave his mother alone. But if he continues to fight his future, his mother will pay the price,” Frank said in disgust. “I can’t even imagine what you’re going through. I just want you to know I have every man on this. I’m doing all I can to get you back to your family, Josh. But Roman and Leo are both dangerous, and I can’t risk your life, or Mike’s and Greyson’s.”

  I knew Frank was being honest. He had been like a second father to me and the guys, and was one of the best men I had ever known. I knew I had to trust him.

  “Just give me something to hold on to, Frank, that’s all I ask,” I begged as I leaned back against the couch.

  “Let me see what I can do.”

  I let out a calming breath and prayed like hell he was being honest. I was in desperate need of something to give me hope.

  ***

  I had grown obsessed with Roman’s life after my phone call with Frank. If I was going to be forced to remain hidden away, I decided to use my time more wisely.

  We had Trevor deliver computers that gave us clearance into the database at work. Between Mike, Greyson, and myself, we set up our own headquarters and continued to analyze every piece of footage we had ever gotten, any footage we could find, not only on Leo but on each of his men. We spent hours looking for any small sign we may have missed the first time we combed through the videos.

  I had been at it for hours and was almost to the point where I was seeing double from staring at the figures on the screens too closely. My eyes burned, my head pounded, and Grey had long ago gone back to his own shit excuse of an apartment. Mike was passed out in the recliner in my living room, snoring, which sounded as if a fucking freight train was barreling through the apartment.

  I was just about to shut everything down for the night when my email dinged. The only people that used this particular address were the guys from the bureau, so when I saw Trevor’s name, I clicked Open. He knew I was absorbed in the footage, so he was most likely sending me something new to comb through.

  The subject line read:

  You can thank me later, thought you could use this.

  There was an attachment, and when I clicked on the little paperclip off the left, a video began to download. A sense of urgency ran through me as I waited for it to load, and when it began to play, my heart literally ached.

  There on the screen were Gabby and Brooklyn. They were in Gabby’s favorite café, sitting near the window. We used to go there together often just to get her that sweet caramel latte she craved. Gabby wore an oversized sweater that hung off one shoulder and a pair of tight leggings beneath it. Her hair was piled on the top of her head with ringlets of brown hanging loosely around her face, giving it that wild look. She was staring down at her hands as she held a bottle of water. I found that odd, considering she was in a coffee shop, but quickly forgot the thought when her gaze shifted toward the camera.

  Brooklyn must have said something, because Gabby looked away quickly and offered her sister a smile I could immediately tell was forced. Her sadness only made my heart ache even more.

  I couldn’t hear Gabby, but seeing her was enough. Hell, I felt as if it had been forever since I had seen her gorgeous face.

  The video ended, and I lunged forward, wiggling the mouse over it to start it once more. I spent the evening watching it over and over just so I could feel close to her once again.

  Chapter 4

  Gabriella

  I had four missed calls from R.J. when I finally emerged from the bathroom. I had spent the last forty-five minutes with my head hovering over the toilet. This was the second time I had woken nauseated. My head was pounding, and the last thing I wanted to deal with right now was that indecisive egomaniac. He would have to wait until after my doctor’s appointment.

  When I walked out into the kitchen and found both of my sisters and my mother waiting for me, I couldn’t stop myself from smiling. They provided the moral support I needed since Josh was unable to be there.

  My mother walked toward me and wrapped me in her arms, giving me a much-needed hug. “Are you ready to go see this sweet little miracle?” I nodded as my eyes filled with tears. “Me too,” she added before placing a kiss against my cheek.

  The ride to my doctor was filled with the three of them telling stories of when my sisters and I were younger. They talked about the possibility of me having a little girl that they could all spoil and shop for. My mom said my father had hoped it would be a boy because he was already outnumbered. I was hoping for a boy too. A little boy that would look just like his daddy and who would grow up to be the kind of man his father was—confident, strong, and the bravest person I had ever known.

  By the time we arrived at the doctor, my stomach was in knots from all the visions rolling around in my head of Josh holding our child, snuggling them and loving them. I had done everything I could to hold it together, but the closer we got, the harder it had become.

  I was robotically going through the motions. Walking toward the front entrance. Stopping at the counter to sign in. Sitting in the waiting area, flipping through magazines as if something within them was actually interesting to me. I would nod or smile when one of my sisters or even my mother asked me a question or said something in an attempt to get a reaction out of me. But everything was forced. Nothing felt right.

  “Ms. Gabriella Shannon,” a nurse said from across the waiting area, and I looked up to meet her genuine smile.

  I pushed up from the chair and walked toward the doorway as Audrey, Brook, and my mother followed closely behind. The nurse directed me to a chair just to the left. There was a small area that held a scale and a few smaller machines. After I took a seat, she checked my blood pressure, followed by my weight. When she tapped at the digital screen in front of me, the numbers began to bounce around before settling on what I knew was well below my weight six weeks ago. I knew I had lost weight, and I felt guilty every day for it.

  As I stepped down from the scale and turned, she pointed toward the hall the led to the examination rooms where the doctor would see me. I ignored Brooklyn’s disapproving stare. She knew my current weight, and she also knew the weight the doctor had written in my chart at my last visit was a number I hadn’t seen since I was in college.

  “Will you all be staying in the room during the exam?” The nurse looked around at the women of my family as she laid the paper gown on the table in front of me.

  Before I could respond, Audrey beat me to it. “Yes, we will. This little angel is our miracle, and we all intend to be a part of every single moment.”

  My eyes clouded with unshed tears, and I looked down to hide my emotion.

  “Well, okay then,” the nurse added with sincerity. “The doctor will be in shortly if you just want to undress from the waist down.” I nodded as she exited the room.

  I quickly undressed and didn’t care that in the process of crawling onto the table, I flashed Brooklyn my bare ass. She laughed and I flipped her off, which only made my mother chastise us both and Audrey snicker at the entire scene. In the end, my mother smiled, and the atmosphere in the room felt just a little lighter than it had five minutes prior to my butt scene.

  When Dr. Bali entered, he smiled politely as he shook everyone’s hand and then took a seat at my side. “How are you feeling, Gabby? Have you had much morning sickness?” he asked as he looked over my chart.

  “No, only a few times, nothing to
o alarming,” I assured him.

  “Great.” He looked up at me over the rim of his glasses. “Says here your last cycle was June 16. Does that sound about right?”

  I nodded, and he looked back down at the file in his hands. “That would put you at a due date of March 22.” He paused for a few seconds. “Which means that as of today, you are about nine to ten weeks along.”

  I closed my eyes, thinking back to the times Josh and I had been together and wondering which of those times we created a life together.

  “We should be able to get a decent view of the baby today,” he stated as he turned and began to move a few things around on the countertop behind him.

  The reality of what I was about to see hit me then. My eyes filled with tears, and my lip began to tremble. I let my head fall to the side, and a tear ran along my cheek before falling to the bed at my side. My mother looked back at me with tears in her eyes as well and a small, reassuring smile.

  I thought it would be Brook that immediately rushed to my side, but I was wrong. It was Audrey who stood and came to me. It was she who took my hand in hers and squeezed it before leaning over to place her head against me.

  For a moment we just stayed in this position, my body now shaking as I fought like hell to hold in my sobs. Then Audrey softly whispered against my ear, “We are all here for you. We always will be.”

  I nodded because I had to stop these waterworks. It was just so hard knowing he couldn’t be here to experience this with me. I hated he was taken from us all and he would never know he was going to be a father. I was so angry and sad at the same time.

  When I finally turned to face Dr. Bali, he was smiling at both of us.

  “Are we ready to take your baby’s first picture?” he asked as he held up a bottle in one hand and the wand in the other.

  “Yes,” I said, and it came out in a whisper.

  The moment the soft swooshing sounds filled the room, we each became mesmerized by the image on the screen next to the doctor. He began pointing to it, explaining what exactly we were seeing. It looked like a little blob, and nothing like a baby, but it was the most precious blob. It was part of Josh, part of me, and in that moment I fell in love.

  ***

  “Do you think it’s time you told his family?” I looked up from the picture in my hand to meet Audrey’s stare. The doctor had printed out a few different images, and I had been engrossed in them since we arrived back at my apartment.

  I knew I needed to tell them. I was just so afraid of what it would do to them. Josh had meant so much to his family, and I worried I’d only be adding to their grief, but Audrey was right.

  “Yeah, I just don’t know how to reach them. I’ve been to their house, but I don’t know the way exactly. When Josh took me there, I was too nervous to pay full attention.” I know he thought I was all self-assured and confident that day, but on the inside I was terrified. I was so worried they wouldn’t like me and also found myself wondering if it was too soon. But they welcomed me as if I were part of the family, and after five minutes in their presence, I felt like I was at home.

  “We could call Greyson, get his sister’s number,” Audrey said. “I’m sure he would be willing to help you get in touch with Josh’s family.”

  I nodded, remembering that Greyson had called her once regarding Josh’s whereabouts, so it made sense she would have his number.

  As she pulled out her phone from her back pocket and began scrolling through her contacts, I felt my nerves kick into high gear. I still had no idea what I would say to Libby.

  Chapter 5

  Josh

  “Look at this right here.” I pointed to the computer screen. “This man enters the building a few minutes after Leo, every fucking time. He’s always wearing a coat or a hoodie, even when it’s hot as fuck and everyone else is dressing to keep cool. He always keeps his hands in his pockets and moves as fast as possible through the crowds.”

  Greyson leaned over my shoulder, and the chomping in my ear was fucking annoying. “Could you fucking chew with your mouth shut?” I groaned, and he purposely smacked his lips in an attempt to be even louder. I looked back at him over my shoulder, and he chuckled as I swung my arm out in his direction. He dodged out of the way just in time, and Mike’s laughter broke out from my right.

  “Can you be fucking serious for a minute?” I grumbled as I turned back to the screen. “He never shows his face. It’s like he knows where all the surveillance cameras are located.” I narrowed my eyes and tried for what felt like the hundredth time to focus on his jawline. It was the only thing visible beneath the hood of a sweatshirt.

  “He just looks like some hood rat. There is nothing that screams, ‘Mafia godfather.’” Greyson appeared at my side once more. This time he was actually focused and trying to see what I had enlarged on the screen.

  “That’s what I thought too, which is why I always scrolled right past his image. That was until last night. When I saw this,” I said as I tapped the computer screen.

  The screech of Mike’s chair filled the room as he attempted to move closer. “Is that…?” He leaned in a little farther. “Are you fucking kidding me right now?”

  “No,” I replied without looking away from the screen.

  I had looked at the images over and over, hoping I didn’t see what I thought I had. I spent hours analyzing footage of all Leo’s hideouts, hoping to pinpoint who Roman truly was. We set up surveillance cameras months ago, but since most of the locations were busy places open to the public, it took time and a whole lot of attention to watch the footage. Nothing ever appeared suspicious. Yeah, we had no fucking clue what the man looked like, but we did know from the information we were fed by the DEA and from some of our own guys who were still undercover that Roman and Leo had met before in the locations we were watching.

  “So you’re telling me one of our own may be responsible for this fucking mess?” Mike said with disbelief.

  “I’m saying that from what I’m seeing, we got someone within our bureau that has some fucking secrets.” I leaned in a little closer and enlarged the image. The sweatshirt the man was wearing had ridden up, and the entire lower half of his badge was now like a fucking beacon going off before us.

  We all stood staring at the image, knowing we now couldn’t trust the men we had spent years forming bonds with, trusting with our lives. The men we considered brothers.

  Only a few knew our location, and they knew we were unable to get in the way. If we were hiding out here, our rat knew we were out of the way, at least for now. I felt sick to my stomach knowing it could be anyone within our tight group.

  “We keep this under the radar for now,” I added, my voice coming out hoarse. “We trust no one, we keep digging, and we find the man behind this fucked-up operation.”

  Mike and Greyson nodded in agreement.

  The ringing of a phone broke the intensity of the current situation, and Greyson quickly scrambled toward his phone on the coffee table.

  “Remember, act normal,” I said as he lifted it and turned it over to look at the screen.

  When his eyes met mine, my stomach dropped. I immediately knew that whoever was on the other end was somehow tied to me. On more than one occasion, I had to hear my sister cry on the other end of the line as she told Grey how much they all missed me.

  “Hey,” he said, and his voice cracked with the word. He cleared his throat and tried again. “How you doing?”

  I assumed it was another call from Libby. I scrubbed at my face with my hand, feeling the beard that had now pretty much taken over. Closing my eyes, I focused on his words, hoping that somehow he would be able to give her the strength to get through the day.

  “Yeah, I got her number.” I opened my eyes, wrinkling my face in confusion. Who the hell could Libby want to call? And then it hit me. She must be talking about Gabby.

  When he began rambling off the digits, I only grew more confused. He was giving the caller Libby’s phone number. I stood from the chair
and moved in his direction, but he held up his hand, making me stop. My fucking heart was beating a mile a minute.

  His eyes locked on mine, giving me a pleading look as he said his next words, and they were like a kick to the gut. “I know Libby would love to hear from you, Gabby. She talks about you every time she calls. She’s wanted to reach out but was worried about upsetting you.”

  Gabby. Just a few feet away from me, the woman I was so fucking in love with it hurt was on the phone with my best friend. The idea that I could take the phone and hear her voice on the other end ripped me up inside. It was absolute torture.

  “Are you sure you’re all right? I know I haven’t talked to you since the funeral, but you do know that if you need anything, all you have to do is call.” I met Greyson’s stare once more, and I could tell this wasn’t easy for him. He looked at me as if he was feeling the same ache I was.

  I focused on his eyes, trying to determine his emotions. I wanted a sense of what he was feeling as Gabby continued to talk to him. I watched as he closed his eyes so fucking tight, his entire face shrunk up in a pinched expression.

  I took another step toward him, and he must have heard the shuffle of my feet because his eyes shot open and turned to me once more. It took everything inside me not to yank the phone from his hands and find out for myself what Gabby was saying. Greyson shook his head, as if he knew exactly what I was thinking.

  “That’s, um,” he said before pausing to take in a deep breath. When he spoke again, I saw joy in his eyes and a smile cover his mouth that was so big it made my heart race. But when his eyes connected with mine, I noticed a sudden change in his expression. It was a look of sorrow, and rarely did I ever see such emotion from Greyson. “Gabby, that’s amazing.” His voice shook, and I felt like I was going crazy from not knowing what she was saying. “How far?”