Always His (Crazed Devotion #1) Page 5
“Right here?” I asked, and she nodded. She then reached down to the floor, picked up a plate full of fake food, and placed it in my hands.
“Eat,” she said.
“Tori, Ryker doesn’t want—”
“No, we’re good.” I picked up the fake cheeseburger and pretended to take a bite. “Did you make this?” Tori nodded so fast she resembled a tin bobble head, beaming. “It’s the best burger I’ve ever had.”
Tori looked over her shoulder toward her mom and showed her that gleaming smile. She was so proud.
Nicole smiled at her in return. “Okay, Peanut, Mommy wants one of these special burgers,” Nicole told her as Tori sat down on the floor at my feet.
And just like that I felt like I was part of their little family.
Ryker had spent the entire morning and well into the afternoon with us, playing and laughing with Tori. It felt natural, like it should be that way all the time. Tori adored him, and I tried not to let that worry me. I did my best to remember what Liz had said: keeping her sheltered was only hurting her, and I couldn’t always protect her from the possibility of loss. I also had to learn to let go and forgive him for his desertion, because being bitter and angry would never solve anything.
I took a deep breath and closed Tori’s bedroom door, making as little noise as possible. She had been so wound up from playing helicopter with Ryker I didn’t know if she would ever lie down for her nap. When I turned around, he stood there with his shoulder leaning against the wall and his arms crossed over his chest. He looked completely comfortable and relaxed.
“She finally fall asleep?” he asked as he pushed off the wall and took a few steps in my direction.
“Yeah,” I whispered. Still after all this time Ryker made my heart beat faster with just one look.
“Sorry I got her so worked up,” he said as he let his arms fall to his sides, “but she loved that ride.” The look of pride on his face made me smile. Tori had been glued to Ryker from the moment he walked into our apartment. She watched him in awe, hugging on him, and even when she ate lunch, he had to sit right next to her.
“She did,” I agreed. “But you do know, I’m going to be forced to play helicopter daily now. I’m just not sure I can hold her up as long as you did. And the spinning-in-circles thing . . .” I widened my eyes just thinking about the effects it would have on my stomach.
“Nah, I can come back every night after work and give her rides until she passes out.” He offered his time like nothing else sounded more important to him. “That is, if you don’t mind.”
The way he was watching me made my stomach tighten. A mixture of nervous energy and lust battled inside me. “Ryker . . .”
He didn’t give me time to argue. Instead he took that last step that separated us and used his body to press mine against the wall. His mouth was only inches from mine, and my heart raced with the overpowering urge to kiss him. I looked up at him to take my focus off his lips. They were entirely too tempting.
“Today was amazing,” he whispered, and I swallowed hard. “There’s no way to describe how spending the day playing with Tori and seeing your smile made me feel. I can’t think of one thing I would’ve rather been doing.”
“It was a good day,” I replied, trying to control my breathing.
“One of the best,” Ryker corrected. “And I’m not gonna pretend I don’t want days like this for the rest of my life.” His words made my stomach flutter with excitement I wasn’t sure I was ready to feel. “I want to surround myself with you and Tori every day. I just want you to let me in.”
“It’s gonna take a lot more than one good day to convince me that you and I deserve another shot,” I whispered as my throat burned from denying myself what I really wanted. “I just don’t—”
He pressed his finger pressed against my lips. “Just tell me what you feel in here.” He placed his hand over my heart, and I shivered. “Tell me that you still love me.”
I wanted to tell him that we were in the past. I wanted to protect my heart from the possibility of him ever hurting me again, but I just couldn’t. “I’ve never stopped loving you.”
He smiled, and just the sight of it made my knees weak. “Just let me in, baby. I swear I’ll never hurt you again. Let me be the man you and Tori need. Let me love you both.”
My fight faded with each word he spoke. “If I trust you again . . .” I whispered, my voice vibrating with each word.
“I’ll never give you the chance to regret it.” Ryker pressed his lips to mine, and almost instantly my knees grew weak. The rapid beat of my heart made me feel light-headed, and the emotional connection I had always felt with Ryker came rushing back. Only now it felt as if it was multiplied by ten.
“I love you so much I can’t think straight. You’re all I see,” he whispered against my lips. “You’re all I’ve ever seen.” He kissed me once more, and I knew I had no hope of holding back.
I loved Ryker. I loved him even when I’d hated him for leaving me. He had always been and would forever be the one who held my heart. “I love you too,” I whispered, and he smiled. “Just promise me that you won’t leave again.”
“I’m not going anywhere without you and Tori,” he assured me.
My knees grew weak as he trailed his tongue over my lower lip. I opened my mouth for him and sucked on the tip, and he moaned. Ryker had a talented mouth, and memories of those moments I was lucky enough to experience it came rushing back. A flood of lust ran through me, and I rose onto my tiptoes, needing to be closer to him.
Ryker slipped the hand gripping my hip around my waist and cupped my ass. He lifted my leg and hooked it over his hip, then pushed his erection against me, which had my mind flying off in a million different directions.
“Tell me to stop,” Ryker said in a husky tone. “Because you know I’ve never been able to control myself around you.”
“No,” I whispered as I thrust my hips forward in search of the relief I needed.
“Are you sure about this?” he asked, and I nodded as I trailed kisses along his jaw. “Say the words, Nic. I need to hear ’em.”
I nipped at his jaw, and he moaned and he palmed my ass, his fingers seeking more. My thin pajama pants offered no resistance to his touch.
“Tell me,” he said again.
“I want you,” I replied. “I want this. Don’t stop.”
He bent at the knees and hoisted me from the floor as I wrapped my legs around his waist, securing my body against his.
The moment we reached my room, he laid me down on the bed and covered me with his body. “I’ve dreamed of this,” he said as he kissed along my neck. “Feeling you beneath me, your touch. I’ve craved you every fucking day since I left, Nicole.”
God, why the hell did he feel so good? Every touch set my body on fire. Every kiss made my mind race.
“I want everything with you,” he whispered against my collarbone as he nipped and soothed the ache with a flick of his tongue. Ryker slipped his hand beneath my shirt and upward to cup my breast. My nipple hardened at his touch as he pulled down my bra and pinched it gently between his fingers. He rose onto his knees and leaned down to trail kisses above my belly button and along the waistband of my pants.
Instinctually I arched my back, pressing my body upward, begging for more. “Mm,” I moaned. “That feels so good.”
“It’s about to feel a whole lot better,” he added as he released his hold on my breast, hooked his fingers in the sides of my pants, and began lowering them over my hips, along with my panties. I swear he growled as he placed his hands on my thighs and pushed my legs apart. His mouth descended on me before I had a chance to think about it. The mixture of his tongue with his fingers quickly drove me toward my release as my body bucked against him. Flashes of light exploded in my vision as my body hummed from the most intense orgasm.
Ryker began kissing upward over my stomach as he raised my shirt. “Still so fucking sweet,” he said before he flicked his tongue out to touc
h my moistened skin. He pulled my shirt over my head and tossed it to the floor. That knowing smirk pulled at his lips as he lowered his mouth to mine.
I could taste myself on his lips. It was so erotic.
My head was spinning as my senses went on high alert. Every kiss and touch only enhanced the uncontrollable urge to demand he take me right then. Part of me thought it was a mistake to move this fast after everything we’d been through. But the other part of me knew how good we were together. I knew Ryker wasn’t using me because it wasn’t in his nature. Yes, he had hurt me, but I knew now that he’d thought he was protecting me by doing so.
I began unbuckling his jeans as he hovered over me, looking down between us to watch my movements. His eyes glazed over as his tongue rested against his lower lip. Pushing his jeans down past his hips, I bit down on my lower lip in anticipation of what was to come.
His boxers outlined his heavy cock as I reached inside them and took him in my fisted hand. His breath picked up as I moved it over him, stroking his thickness. As moisture pooled at the tip, I grazed it with my fingertip, smearing the slickness.
“You’re killing me, babe,” he said in a pained whisper.
The idea of torturing him made me feel seductive. So I continued to stroke him as my eyes met his.
“You know exactly what you’re doing,” he said as he stared at me. “You were never this patient, baby. It was always me that had to slow you down.”
He was right, but I loved the hungry look in his eyes. I loved knowing he wanted me so badly.
“Condom,” he said, his voice deep and husky.
I nodded as I released my hold on his cock, and he scurried off the bed in a humorous hurry. He pulled his wallet out of the pocket of his jeans, found what he was looking for, and moved back to join me.
As I yanked his shirt over his head, I saw the tattoo on his chest, and my own chest tightened. The knowledge that he carried my name and his love for me there for anyone to see warmed me so deeply.
He paused next to the bed, and I watched in awe as he sheathed himself before crawling back onto the mattress and placing his body over mine. His mouth covered mine as his tongue dove between my lips and he moved his hips against me. His hardness sliding over my sensitive clit made my eyes roll back and my body shiver beneath his.
“This changes everything,” he said as he pulled back from our kiss and his eyes met mine. “I know it’ll take work, but I’m willing to do anything it takes to have you back in my life. I’ll spend every day showing you just how much I want you.”
My eyes filled with tears as he pulled his hips back and the tip of his cock found my entrance. Within seconds he was sliding inside me, and all thoughts faded away as I relished in the pleasure he gave me.
I didn’t know what tomorrow would bring, but I knew in that moment nothing else mattered.
I took deep breaths as I tried to calm my erratic heartbeat. My forehead rested against Nicole’s as she soothingly trailed her fingertips over my shoulders and down my arms. My head was spinning and my chest felt tight, but I’d never felt more relaxed. Raising my forehead from hers, I opened my eyes and found her staring back at me. Without speaking I placed my lips to hers and tried to tell her everything I was feeling through my actions. If I thought I was in deep two days ago, that had nothing on what I was feeling now.
“I love you,” I whispered before kissing her once again.
She was just about to respond when we heard “Momma?” echoing down the hall. We tensed and looked toward the door, our eyes wide. Within seconds we were scrambling around the room, gathering our clothes and doing our best to cover our bodies. With one leg in my pants, I was hoping around trying to put my other leg in when I stumbled and fell on the bed. Nicole snickered, and then we both looked toward the bedroom door, waiting for Tori to enter. Nicole was dressed fully as she gathered my T-shirt and tossed it toward me. “I’ll go entertain her. Hurry up.” That gorgeous smile of hers made my stomach flip just like it always did when she smiled. She was so damn beautiful it was painful.
“Well, it didn’t take you long,” Ben said on the other end of the phone as I stood outside Lucy’s, leaning against my truck with a smile on my face. “Sounds like everything is working out.”
This was the first time I’d gotten to talk to Ben since I left Germany. He still had eight months left in the Marines before he had to reenlist or choose a different path. Luke was younger than Ben and I and had two years left. I missed the guys, but I definitely had no regrets for choosing to return to Alabama.
“We’re working on it. We still got some things to hash out and she’s still skittish, but she has reason to be. But we’ve got time because I ain’t going nowhere.” I paused as two girls walked by smiling at me, flirting without the words. But they held no interest to me. “Nicole’s what I want, and I’m not giving up ’til I got her. And hell, Ben, you should see Tori. Her little girl is damn sweet. There’s no way in hell I couldn’t love her as much as I do her momma.”
“I’m happy for ya, Ryker. I know Luke and I gave you shit because it’s what we do, but I’m happy for you. Sometimes I think how great it would be to have a girl, a family. This life is lonely; you know that.”
Ben and I were the same age, and he was usually hard to crack, but we’d talked about his ex who lived in Maine. At the time, he didn’t want another relationship because of how she had cheated on him, but now I could tell he longed to have that connection again.
“You need to come to Alabama on leave. You and Luke.” I knew it was a long shot, but it sure would be nice to see them.
“Yeah, maybe we’ll do that,” Ben said with a chuckle. “You got any pretty ladies there that can help persuade us?”
“As a matter a fact,” I said as I watched Liz approach, “I know one that needs a little taming.”
She cocked an eyebrow at me as she stopped only a couple feet away. “Ain’t no man that can tame me, Ryker, you know that. I’m a free spirit.” She winked as she took my phone from my hand. Her eyes glimmered with mischief while she listened to whatever Ben had intended to say to me.
“Oh is that right?” she said. “I’m pretty interested in finding out how that plan of yours plays out. Name the date, darlin’, and I’ll be sure to wear something lacy and see-through.”
She barked out a laugh at whatever Ben said in return, and they bantered for a few minutes before she handed my phone back to me. “I like that man. He isn’t scared of me.”
She winked and walked inside, leaving me holding my phone and wondering what in the hell just happened. Lifting it back to my ear, I could hear Ben laughing, and I knew I had just started something explosive. “She’s a handful,” I said.
“She sounds like it. Makes me wanna hop on a plane to Alabama and find out if she’s being honest about the lacy-and-see-through shit.”
“Oh she’s being honest. That girl is wild.” Liz was a fireball. There was never a dull moment when she was around.
“I’ll set something up whenever I can get my leave. And I’ll check with Luke too,” Ben said, sounding more excited than he had when I originally mentioned them visiting.
“Sounds good, man, just let me know,” I said before ending the call.
It was Friday night, and Lucy’s was starting to get busy. When I entered and found Nicole standing next to a table of three guys, I tried not to let it bother me. But what I really wanted to do was walk straight up to that table, grip her hips, and spin her around into a kiss. Without giving her a chance to argue, I wanted to claim her in front of everyone in the bar.
In time, I told myself. The last thing I wanted to do was piss her off when this was all still so new and fresh.
“Feeling the need to piss on her leg?” I turned in surprise at the question. Elle stood at my side with a knowing smile on her face. She held her tray of drinks away from her body as she hip-checked me.
“Who are those guys?” I asked, turning back to look toward the table once again.
“What about the guy that can’t keep his hand off Nicole’s back?” It was taking all the restraint I had not to walk over to him and drop him on his ass for thinking it was all right to touch her.
“Keegan,” she said, as if that was enough of an explanation.
“Elle, did you forget I’ve been gone for close to five years?” I asked without looking away from the sorry fuck. “‘Keegan’ doesn’t mean shit.”
“You don’t remember Keegan from school?” she asked.
I let my high school years roll through my mind, trying to remember everyone from those days. When I shook my head she sighed.
“Keegan Murphy,” she replied, and the name set an alarm off in my mind.
“Tyler’s little brother,” I growled. Little punk turned out to be bigger than Tyler. But his size didn’t intimidate me. “Well it looks like Keegan needs a blast from the past. Both he and his brother need to understand the shit they pull ain’t fucking happening anymore.” I didn’t wait for her response; I had a point to prove. I may still be working to make things with Nicole more concrete, but letting some asshole fondle her wasn’t going to happen.
“You can’t judge me by my brother’s screw-ups. He and I are not the same man.” Keegan was drunk, and I was trying my best to allow his words to roll right off me. But the asshole was even more persistent with a few drinks running through his veins.
“Like I said, I’m not interested. I wasn’t last month, and I won’t be next week.” I moved out of his reach and sat Edgar’s beer down in front of him. He offered me a pleased smile as he lifted it and took a swig.